In September of 2007, I started this blog
with a bit of writing advice. A little over a year later, I discovered how
little I knew about writing after hearing a pro children’s writer and started this blog by sharing (with permission) the advice of several other writers I know). In April of 2014, I
figured I’d gotten enough publications that I could share some of the things I
did “right”. I’ll keep that up, but I’m running out of pro-published stories. I
don’t write full-time, nor do I make enough money with my writing to live off
of it, but someone pays for and publishes ten percent of what I write.
Hemingway’s quote above will remain unchanged as I work to increase my writing
output and sales, but I’m adding this new series of posts because I want to
carefully look at what I’ve done WRONG and see if I can fix it. As always, your
comments are welcome!
ANALOG Tag Line:
When the instrument is rejuvenated after the player has been, do fond
memories disappear?
Elevator Pitch (What Did I Think I Was Trying To Say?):
The time will come when our lives can be extended, perhaps
indefinitely. A popular folk singer whose life has been extended faces a choice
– get his beat up, memory encrusted guitar rejuvenated or retire in a blaze of glory.
Opening Line:
“There was a way to retire, but Arnaldo Celis wasn’t sure what it
was.”
Onward:
From this point on,
I TRY and weave a story of a folk singer who’s contemplating retirement, who lives
in a future where climate change has been ameliorated after we have First
Contact with aliens who’ve been watching us from the Kuiper Belt for some time –
and they are part of a vaster Unity (it ties into a Universe I’ve built but
have never had a story published in (except for “Oath” here: http://www.stupefyingstoriesshowcase.com/0130826/0130826-40.html).
So there are aliens, high technology, and personal angst. Finally, he meets
with his ex-wife who tells him that he KNOWS what to do. So he does. He
retires.
What Was I Trying
To Say?:
My own 12-string guitar
means more to me than I can tell you – though I attempt to in this story – and I
honestly think that given the choice of retire or have the guitar rejuvenated,
I would probably retire.
The Rest of the
Story:
I pretty much laid
it out there – though sometimes the background overwhelms the story. One person
said that the science is unbelievable…I don’t know HOW that’s possible…it’s SF
with several tropes woven together. Interstellar Civilization, life extension, and
Recovery of the Wild. I don’t use any ideas that aren’t out there already.
End Analysis:
I don’t know WHY no
one likes this story! A good friend of mine and executive editor of the online
magazine STUPEFYING STORIES said that in the end, the story was well written
but that he felt… “unexcited”. What the heck does THAT mean???? True, it’s
subjective. I’ve not recommended stories to him for inclusion in the magazine
because they were technically fine but didn’t leave any kind of impression on
me. But I can say that for the tens of thousands of stories I’ve read in ASIMOV’S,
ANALOG, F&SF, LIGHTSPEED, CLARKESWORLD, and IGMS. In fact the vast majority
of stories don’t penetrate my heart. Some do: “The Mountains of Mourning” (Lois
McMasters Bujold); “Nexus” (Michael F. Flynn); “A Case of the Stubborns” (Robert
Bloch, F&SF, 1976 (!)); a very few others…
I was trying for
great here and I’ve met…a brick wall.
Can This Story Be
Saved?
I could remove the
aliens (though I think THAT’S humorous) or Arnaldo’s gay manager, or his
ex-wife, or…I CAN sharpen the focus by removing all of those things. But I
think that I wanted the story to be an unremarkable slice-on-life, where
someone who lives in a fantastic future ignores all of “that stuff” and is
concerned with his own life just as we are here and now. I live in a fantastic
future that my grandparents wouldn’t have recognized at all. Even my dad has
trouble with the phone and remote looking “so much alike”…
Anyway, I love this
story. I’m probably going to take a stab at it again, but I need some feedback.
If you’d LIKE to read the story, email me at gstewart75@hotmail.com
and I’ll send the MS as is. If not, maybe I’ll have good news about this
someday!
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