NOT using the
panel discussions of the most recent World Science Fiction Convention in
Helsinki, Finland in August 2017 which I was once again unable to attend (until
I retire from education), I will jump off, jump on, rail against, and
shamelessly agree with the BRIEF DESCRIPTION given in the pdf copy of the
Program Guide. Today is Something Else.
My dad is slowly
dying from the accumulation of whatever it is that devours the brain of an Alzheimer’s
patient.
The first quarter
of the last year of the Class of 2018 ended on Friday.
While Fall is not
officially over, Winter has arrived in my home state of Minnesota.
The newest book by
author Julie Czerneda arrived in the mail a month ago and I have buried it
under a pile of other books and papers.
Likely the above
statements seem to disjointed to you. Alzheimer-ish, even. Perhaps I could
explain? Perhaps even one word would do the trick.
Endings.
The end of my
father’s Earthly existence is inexorably drawing closer. Admittedly mine is
doing exactly the same thing; as it is happening to my seven-year-old grandson.
However, his ending has been and will continue to be painful, if not for him,
then for those of us around him.
The class of 2018
has been a difficult group of young people to work with in my role as a high
school counselor. I met them when they were thirteen or fourteen years old and
I have worked with them for the past three-and-one-quarter school years. When
they graduate (those who make the grade) in June of 2018, I will likely be
saying “good-bye” to most of them forever. Whether I want to or not.
As to winter’s
approach, of COURSE I understand the cycle of seasons! This is my sixtieth time
through around the Sun and the sixtieth time I’ve experienced the change in
insolation that signals Autumn. I have experienced the conclusion of Fall in
almost every way you can imagine – early, hot, late, cold, icy, warm, snowy, brutal,
muddy, and sensual. It’s coming is inevitable. Of COURSE I know I could move to
southern California or Lagos, Nigeria and avoid the weather entirely!
I have Julie
Czerneda’s book, TO GUARD AGAINST THE DARK sitting right next to me – less than
fifty centimeters away from my right hip.
I cannot read it.
Not yet, anyway.
The reviews are
fantastic. I have come to trust her as a writer and I have no doubt that the
story will end exactly as I expect and as promised.
However, like my
father’s life, the high school journey of the Class of 2018, and the Winter of
17-18, the moment I read the book, it will be all over for me. I will live the
lives of Jason and Sira – and all the others – one more time without knowing
how everything will turn out…and then all I’ll be doing is rereading them.
Don’t get me
wrong, I’m one of those people who has particular books that I read over, and
over, and over again. But once the final chapter; the final paragraph; the
final sentence; the final word is read…well if you’re a reader like me (with
1600 books in his library – about 20 which I re-read on a regular basis), you
can maybe understand why Ms. Czerneda’s book will sit under the pile for quite
a while.
The life of a
reader (and I am certain) a writer, is full of such bitter-sweet moments. When
I DO read it finally, I’ll let you know what I felt.
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