POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAYS: Can I Use SF To Tell Sad Stories With A Sense Of Humor?

On October 7, 2007, I started this blog. Eighteen years later, I am revising and doing some different things. My wife and I are now retired senior citizens, our kids are both married, we have a bonus daughter and her wife and we have three grandchildren, (with a fourth on-the-way!) the oldest of which will soon finish his first year in high school, one smack in the center of Middle School; the third almost done with kindergarten. I have forty-five professional publications, plus countless other publications as a slushpile reader, and sometime essay contributor to Stupefying Stories https://stupefyingstories.blogspot.com/.

These days, I write whenever I want to – or when I’m not busy exploring the world with my wife or kids or grandkids. I write and read constantly. Then I discovered that I was writing longer and longer pieces. My new focus is to write shorter; and to write HUMOR. On purpose. Maybe I can still irritate people while being funny. It works pretty well for John Scalzi! We’ll see what happens.

FOUNDATION FOR THOUGHTS ON WRITING HUMOR: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-every-writer-should-t_b_5811562

I just finished reading a second draft of a soon-to-be-published biography called BANANITO: The Lost Boy the Toughest Street Couldn’t Kill…

For those who don’t have a good grip on Spanish (like me!), a bananito is literally, “little banana”, but it became the writer’s name for the rest of the story. He was nine-years-old, tiny, and when his family lost their home and livelihood, they had to live “on the street” in Guatemala City.

What followed was a sad story (duh! Of course it was!) But because I knew one of the people who came later in the story, I kept reading to find out what happened.

Some really horrible – and sometime graphically explained – things happened. Death, murder, abuse, loss, hopelessness…and sometimes hope…happened in quick succession. But it was only quick for me. BANANITO covers some truly horrific events in his relatively short life: the book covers his experiences from 8 to his late teens. As I texted my Famous Friend who encouraged Bananito to write his story, I realized the wisdom and perspective in this book might make a worthwhile foundation for SF stories…

Could I possibly turn such a sad story into something that might not ONLY create a fascinating narrative that takes place on an colony world – but could I make the events and stories similar to those of Bananito’s, and use them as a foundation for stories that take place off Earth AND make people think of the poor, destitute, sick and hurting and inspire them to help change the world through the love and faith in Christ?

OK – that was a very dense sentence! Lemme break it down!

The book was terrifyingly sad.

Also, writers have asked, “If laughter is indeed the best medicine, it may allow us to cope with the trauma of being in the world.” The book was traumatic – certainly for the people who lived through it (my friend as well as Bananito). It was uncomfortable for me. And I have to ask, “What’s funny about trauma?”

That’s the point – there IS nothing funny about child abuse, prostitution, poverty and starvation. But if THEY could laugh: “We laughed because wanting hurt and laughing patched that for a second.” – even in the midst of a horrible life filled with rats, disease, death, and hopelessness, perhaps there might be more ways to laughter. Maybe we can work harder to heal the world’s pain when we can laugh – not AT those who suffer, but WITH those who suffer.

That’s the rub, ain’t it? How can you tell the difference between laughing AT someone and laughing WITH someone? The answer is actually easy: if you feel like crying on the inside and they START it, then you’re laughing with them. If you’re laughing alone and they turn away, then you’re laughing AT them

I saw that as a school counselor. After tears, it wasn’t unbelievable for laughter to follow; sometimes I even initiated it – like by blowing my nose. Or them by farting (you tend to swallow air when you’re crying hard, and your stomach can’t handle it, so…you know…it escapes (also, belches are funny, too!)

If I can mix humor and horror on an alien world, or a nearly-abandoned space station, or – then maybe I can lead people to be interested in helping those on Earth – people we share a world with – if not a continent.

Sounds really difficult. But, but I’m going to start with trying. After that, we’ll see how many people’s feelings I hurt or how many people look at me in horror and ask, “How could you even WRITE that?”

Inspiration: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2019/02/possibly-irritating-essays.html, “Why Every Writer Should Take a Humor Writing Class”
(Whatever or whoever you are, there's one very enjoyable step you can take, right now -- or at least, fairly soon -- to make yourself a better writer: Take a course in humor writing.) (by Siobhan Adcock); https://lithub.com/why-horror-needs-humor/ “Why Horror Needs Humor” (Tyler Malone; 10/31/24)
Science Fiction and Humor (besides HITCHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY): https://electricliterature.com/7-new-sci-fi-comedies-you-dont-want-to-miss/ Image: https://t3.ftcdn.net/jpg/14/61/31/10/240_F_1461311036_MViWj3gBpw4LNjp4h0mdikU2gho7a51c.jpg

IDEA ON TUESDAY 708

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them. Regarding horror, I found this insight in line with WIRED FOR STORY: “ We seek out…stories which give us a place to put our fears…Stories that frighten us or unsettle us - not just horror stories, but ones that make us uncomfortable or that strike a chord somewhere deep inside - give us the means to explore the things that scare us…” – Lou Morgan (The Guardian)

H Trope: “Grave Clouds for the variant where the weather is simply miserable at graveyards and other creepy areas, and which is possibly a sister trope to this. See also Evil Is Not Well Lit…”
Current Event: http://science.howstuffworks.com/science-vs-myth/afterlife/scary-graveyard1.htm

Niaria Xiong-Walker squinted, trying to see through the gathering mist that apparently hung over the cemetery every night. She said, “How can mist hang over this place EVERY night? Fog’s a function of temperature, humidity, and dew point.”

Seth Bakhsh stood near an obelisk, pitted from ages of lower-than-water pH acid rain that drizzled from the Rochester, NY sky on a regular basis, giving it the dubious distinction of the being the American city with the most rainy days and its unofficial slogan, “If it rains, it’s Rochester”. He said, “It’s the oldest municipal graveyard in the US and has 400,000 dead people in it. Don’t you think that all those ghosts might have an effect on the weather?”

Niaria snorted and said, “They don’t even act as creeped out as you are doing in my parents old village in Nigeria! You’re a wimp, Seth!”

He snorted just as loudly, “I prefer to think that I’m prepared for all eventualities – even ephemeral ones.”

Shaking her head, she tapped her tablet computer and plugged in a cord. “I’m going to see if there’s any truth to the old wives tale that cemeteries are always foggy and creepy at night.”

“How many have you tested?” he asked. He usually ignored her scientific researches in favor of tapping her fascination in anime movies by presenting her with the latest rerun of her favorite Miyazaki film.

“Sixteen,” she replied.

“What?” he stepped from the obelisk, saying, “This isn’t the first time you’ve done this?”

“Duh,” she grabbed the tip of the cord and pulled, a long sensor extended, glowing blue.

“What’s that?”

“A data staff. It collects information and feeds it into a program I wrote.”

“So you can detect monsters?”

“Nothing so solid. Ephemerals. Like you said.”

“Ghosts?” he breathed the word – and his breath fogged in front of his face. “How come it’s so cold here?”

She shook her head, “Because the temperature’s low, dummy.”

“No – I mean it wasn’t cold a second ago and now I can see my breath.”

She looked at her tablet then back up at Seth, “The data confirm your sensations.”

“Duh.”

She looked around, scowling. “But there isn’t any reason…” As she said the words, something congealed out of the fog. It wasn’t humaniform, more like a lizard-like; possibly saurian, large as the obelisk.

Seth said, “It’s coming out of that gravestone...”

“It’s a monument…”

“Whatever it is, I think it has big claws.”

Names: ♀ India, Hmong, English-Scottish; ♂ Hebrew, Pakistan
Image: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51niGRrH6DL.jpg

HIGH CARNIVAL -- My Newest Story is up at AMAZING STORIES!

 

MAY 5, 2026

My newest story "High Carnival" is now up live and for free at the AMAZING STORIES website – which “…as of 2024…has been published, with some interruptions, for 98 years.” You can find it here:

https://amazingstories.com/2026/04/high-carnival-by-guy-stewart-free-story/

If you join the AMAZING STORIES team, you can ALSO listen to it (and everything else!) as a podcast. Check it out here: https://www.patreon.com/3178832/join

Listen to it or read it, and let me know what you think! Better yet, share this on your own FaceBook or forward it by whatever means you can.

THANK YOU! (I also have a hard science fiction novel, MARTIAN HOLIDAY at AMAZON, if you’re into REALLY big books…800 pages worth of story…)

SLICE OF PIE: Who Am I – and Where Am I GOING?

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING HIGHLIGHTS ASPECTS OF MY CHRISTIANITY. SKIP IT IF SUCH MEANDERINGS MIGHT BE OFFENSIVE TO YOU…

On October 7, 2007, I started this blog. Eighteen years later, I am revising and doing some different things. My wife and I are now retired senior citizens, our kids are both married, we have a bonus daughter and her wife and we have four grandchildren, the oldest will soon finish his sophomore year in high school, one moves into High School; the third almost done with first grade, and the youngest celebrated the first birthday. I have forty-five professional publications, plus countless other publications as a slushpile reader, and sometime essay contributor to Stupefying Stories https://stupefyingstories.blogspot.com/.

These days, I write whenever I want to – or when I’m not busy exploring the world with my wife or kids or grandkids. I write and read constantly. Then I discovered that I was writing longer and longer pieces. My new focus is to write shorter; and to write HUMOR. On purpose. Maybe I can still irritate people while being funny. It works pretty well for John Scalzi! We’ll see what happens.



I just got back from a retreat. In case you don’t know the term, it’s Christian-speak for “vacation with a purpose”. It made me wonder if Christians are the only ones who reflect on who they are, visit someplace that might give them clarity, and discover what they’re doing “in life”.

So, I dove into a GOOGLE search. Initially, virtually ALL of the responses on GOOGLE for “retreat” had to do with Christianity.

Made me start to wonder if the only people who wondered about their purpose in life were Christians. I instinctively KNOW that’s NOT true, my personal experience as a public high school counselor lends lots of evidence to my claim that it’s a lot more common than just in the Christian community. Lest you assume that I taught science and counseled at some kind of privileged private “religious school, this is where I spent most of my 41 years as a teacher: Robbinsdale Cooper HS: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robbinsdale_Cooper_High_School
Enrollment Characteristics (2024-2025 school year) (I retired 2019-2020) https://nces.ed.gov/ccd/schoolsearch/school_detail.asp?Search=1&DistrictID=2731780&SchoolPageNum=2&ID=273178001319
Enrollment by Grade: 9=323 10=339 11=382 12 352
Enrollment by Race/Ethnicity:
Am Indian/Alaska Native=7 Asian=122 Black=533
Hispanic=349 White = 247 Hawaiian/Pacific Islander=1 Two+Races=139
Total Enrollment = 1396
Free and reduced-price lunch eligible total: 983

After digging around some more and reflecting on the above, I discovered that lots and lots of people wonder about their “purpose” in life. With 9th-12th graders, virtually all of my conversations hit that mark, ranging from the obvious “college search and application” to an all-to-common conversation that usually started with some version of, “You do want to graduate from high school, right?”

I was a pretty decent counselor. “My Graduates” (men and women with whom I spent more than just casual time) include a bilingual Kindergarten teacher; a physics teacher who now has a 3D printing business in a large mall where he also teaches people HOW to work a 3D printer; a band member; an insurance analyst; a railroad engineer; two retired US Marines; a couple of welders, a consultant for a games-development company; a couple of physicians; a retired Housing Project Coordinator; a desktop systems analyst; an Academic Dean of Students; a Physics Instructor and research scientist; a Quality Assurance Analyst; theater director; a couple of reverends (both male and female)…anyway. I think that establishes some of my cred that allows me to continue with confidence…

I wanted to dig a little deeper, so I just typed in “retreat”. This produced a wild mix of results from Christian events (which is what I went on) to “…a US retreat built around 'magic' mushrooms. Psilocybin therapy…” Our retreat was based on “Our Identity…” That pretty much gave me dozens of Christian retreats centered around that subject…

That was weird, but then I thought of what a non-religious event might be called. I guessed, “vacation with a purpose”, typed it in and WHOA! Jackpot!

Here’s just a bit of what I found on Wikipedia: apparently, it’s also called “voluntourism combining traditional leisure travel with service projects, allowing travelers to give back to communities, support conservation efforts, or engage in immersive learning. Some broad examples: Environmental Conservation; Community Aid; Cultural and Creative Retreats; Immersive Experiences; Family/Group Mission Trips leading to Authentic Cultural Immersion to build meaningful connections with locals by ensuring travel dollars benefit the local community; personal growth; Focusing on projects that fill a genuine need…”

OK…finally back to my main point: the retreat I went on focused on the source of our identity (during which time, I ran a “36.5 Hour Prayer Room” where people could come at any time, get out of the main track of the “fun” of the retreat, and reflect and seek out God. I spent most of the retreat in that prayer room…as in I slept six of those hours; ate for a couple more, and WARNING: WAY TO MUCH SHARING IN THE NEXT SIX WORDS!!!) visited the restroom occasionally…). As it happened, I felt God move in me in an unexpected way and it led me to realize that I have NOT been focused on God’s plan for my life, but on MY plan for my…WRITING life. I spent many hours praying for others, but also a serious amount of time praying for myself and I’m about to get serious with my writing again. There’s been something of a drought lately – though a short story of mine is scheduled to appear on the AMAZING STORIES website (which is ONE of the “drought” issues right now…) as well as disappointing responses to my 780-page-novel. As my personal life had drifted a long way from pleasing God to pleasing myself…which is dangerous even if I WEREN’T a writer) my identity had shifted from child of God to Writer Extraordinaire. I’m the first to say now that that was NOT a good shift. And in case you were wondering, I’m STILL not going to write “religious/Christian science fiction. MARTIAN HOLIDAY was NOT written to be “Christian Science fiction”. I have a note to myself: “I didn't write MARTIAN HOLIDAY to be read by Christians for ‘entertainment’, but to be shared with friends and let the conversation lead to the implications a Christian faith might have in the far future and in the near future of next year...” A bit of Bible supports my new intent: John 21:25 “But there are also many other things which Jesus did, which, if they were written in detail, I expect that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written.” New American Standard Bible

As well, from the following website: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMkXvVAzmys&t=377s I found this: “Effective science fiction for witnessing explores themes of redemption, sacrifice, and the search for meaning, prompting deep spiritual conversations. Here are the top science fiction works for spiritual discussions with non-Christian friends.”

So…there you go. Reflections from the Men’s Spring Retreat…as well as some reflections on other things that occurred to me. This is more me than I’ve been in a long time. Apologies if I’ve given offense. That was NOT my intent…though there are several things about “intent” and “results”. This quote from David Grinspoon gives me hope, “There is a real danger of unintended consequences, of encouraging people to give up. Pessimism, if it becomes a habit, can reinforce a narrative of unstoppable decline. If there is nothing we can do, that releases us from our obligations.” So, I’m posting this with high hopes! (I read Grinspoon’s book awhile ago! It’s great! I blogged it here: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2023/12/possibly-irritating-essays-lonely.html

Image: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61IlBkXnVyL.jpg

MINING THE ASTEROIDS Part 38: SCARY ROBOT SET TO CREATE EMPIRE OF THE ASTEROIDS!!!!

Initially, I started this series because of the 2021 World Science Fiction Convention, DisCON which I WOULD have been attending in person if I felt safe enough to do so in person AND it hadn’t been changed to the week before the Christmas Holidays…HOWEVER, as time passed, I knew that this was a subject I was going to explore because it interests me…

Mining the asteroids has taken a huge step with the collaboration of two LARGE partners in the continuing drive to begin mining off-of-Earth: “Asteroid Mining Corporation’s CEO and founder Mitch Hunter Scallion said: ‘{Our companies have signed a has signed a Memorandum of Understanding mark[ing] an historic step as it will be the first lunar mission from a UK-based company. AMC stands ready to support Artemis Accords member states in their efforts to advance the lunar surface.”

“Working with Ispace, we will deliver a comprehensive mission architecture to enable more countries and organizations to enter the new lunar market. Together, we will pioneer a cislunar economy for the benefit of all humanity.”

While this is NOT mining operations for asteroids, rather mining the surface of the MOON, this could easily lead to the creation of stopping places made by mining out asteroids and placing them in orbit around Earth.

While, again it isn’t exactly what was envisioned, it DOES seem to be a logical development. Certainly the exploration and colonization of various lands by “exploring” countries searching for resources” has a VERY long history substantially pre-dating the European subjugation of North America. Don’t believe me? Take the time to read the Wikipedia entry on Imperialism (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperialism#:~:text=Imperialism%20has%20been%20present%20and,government%20over%20a%20colonial%20region.z) The Mongolian Empire was the largest to ever exist on Earth prior to the British Empire which wouldn’t arise for another SIX CENTURIES after the Mongolian Empire stretched from what we call Europe to the China Sea. There was a Russian Empire; the Empire of Brazil; the Empire of Japan; the Mughal Empire in India; Great Zimbabwe and the Empire of Benin; the Inca and Aztecs in Mexico; the Roman Empire (devolving to the Byzantine; even Denmark had an empire. Laser-focused people often ignore what doesn’t support their narrative. It would appear to ME that just about every culture on Earth spawned a society with imperial aspirations…

I find it interesting that while there seems to be competition between several countries over mining in space, MOST of the world finds it an absurd and ridiculous vision.

Of course, most British, Japanese, Chinese, Mexican, and Indian “normal people" thought that those who had imperial aspirations were demented, absurd and ridiculous, as well…and look what THAT brought us.

Today’s Source: https://www.globenewswire.com/news-release/2026/03/02/3247532/0/en/asteroid-mining-market-report-2026-2035-featuring-industry-leaders-planetary-resources-deep-space-industries-asteroid-mining-corp-and-astroforge.html
Foundational Resource: (A general Wikipedia post detailing what the authors currently know about asteroid mining: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asteroid_mining)
Noted Resources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_asteroid_close_approaches_to_Earth, https://www.pharostribune.com/news/local_news/article_7fcd3ea5-3c14-533f-a8d5-9bf629922f34.html, https://www.fool.com/investing/2022/04/29/like-asteroid-mining-be-careful-what-you-wish-for/, https://www.nps.gov/wrbr/learn/historyculture/theroadtothefirstflight.htm, https://hackaday.com/2019/03/27/extraterrestrial-excavation-digging-holes-on-other-worlds/, https://www.planetary.org/space-missions/every-small-worlds-mission
ARTEMIS ACCORDS: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artemis_Accords
Interesting Stuff The Might Apply To Mining Asteroids: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cgej7gzg8l0o

Image: https://i0.wp.com/spacenews.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/rsz_img_2497.jpg?w=879&ssl=1

WRITING ADVICE: MY Short Stories (and HER novels!) – Advice and Observation #37: Kathy Reichs “& Me”

In this feature, I’ll be looking at “advice” for writing short stories – not from me, but from other short story writers. In speculative fiction, “short” has very carefully delineated categories: “The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America specifies word lengths for each category of its Nebula award categories by word count; Novel 40,000 words or over; Novella 17,500 to 39,999 words; Novelette 7,500 to 17,499 words; Short story under 7,500 words.”

I’m going to use advice from people who, in addition to writing novels, have also spent plenty of time “interning” with short stories. While most of them are speculative fiction writers, I’ll also be looking at plain, old, effective short story writers. The advice will be in the form of one or several quotes off of which I’ll jump and connect it with my own writing experience. While I don’t write full-time, nor do I make enough money with my writing to live off of it...neither do most of the professional writers...someone pays for and publishes ten percent of what I write. When I started this blog, that was NOT true, so I may have reached a point where my own advice is reasonably good. We shall see as I work to increase my writing output and sales! As always, your comments are welcome!

Without further ado, short story observations (though in HER case, it's her novels being turned into SCRIPTS (a form of short story!) by Kathy Reichs – with a few from myself…

Kathy “Reichs began her career…as a forensic anthropologist who helped solve violent crime by examining the bodies of the victims.”

As much as I would have LOVED to begin my writing career as a member of the crew of the USS Enterprise, I began my career as a science fiction nerd who was drawn into the sciences by some good teachers – mostly my 9th grade science teacher (Mr. W…; my biology teacher, Mr. H; NOT my chemistry teacher Mr. J; and absolutely NOT my physics professor in college, Mr. ??? – BUT by the Organic Chemistry lab professor, Dr. Kowanko. I became a science teacher with my license in biology. When I couldn’t find a full-time biology job to save my life, I went back to college briefly to get a Middle School certification (biology, Earth science, and Physical science (chemistry/physics).

Even so, I followed the sciences avidly and started to take my writing seriously. “Reichs’ background as a forensic anthropologist provides more than just the inspiration for (her fictional main character) Temperance Brennan and her career. It also infuses her novels with a unique blend of science and storytelling. As aspiring authors, we can study her books to understand how to weave accurate details about our own backgrounds and career into our narrative, which can elevate the authenticity of our work.”

I’ve always been fascinated with aliens and behaviors that extend OUT of a living creature’s biology, hence my drift into biology and education. While I wrote dozens of stories prior to my first published story, “Absolute Limits” in the August 1996 issue of ANALOG Science Fiction & Fact, I didn’t address aliens for another twenty years – and it wasn’t about aliens, per se, but “Fairy Bones”(CAST OF WONDERS November 2015, https://www.castofwonders.org/2015/11/episode-181-fairy-bones-by-guy-stewart/) – and while the fairies WERE alien, they were small, earthly inhabitants of a marsh not far from where I live…though, I suppose…)

“Temperance Brennan, the central character in Kathy Reichs’ novels, is a vividly relatable human being…immersed in the world of science and logic…often grappling with the nuances of human emotions. Her…relentless pursuit of justice and truth sometimes blinds her to the emotional toll her work takes on her own well-being…making her a nuanced and relatable protagonist…”

OK – I write NOTHING like her forensic scientist, BUT…I do write about people I understand: people like me and the students I have had in my classrooms over the past nearly 50 years.

For example:

“…her success [comes from her skill at] conveying complex scientific concepts in a digestible manner without compromising the pace of her stories…that doesn’t sacrifice the momentum or emotional impact of your story.” In my own story, “Technopred” (https://aurorawolf.com/2013/05/guy-stewart/), I imagine that the interaction between “urban wildlife…like coyote, turkey, squirrels, rats, racoons and foxes…” and their interactions with Human both intentional and accidental (traps, poisons, shooting and cars, inappropriate foods) are rapidly accelerating the evolution of intelligence in some of these animals…” (https://www.mprnews.org/episode/2026/04/14/coyotes-turkeys-and-other-city-critters)

In my story, raccoons have started to show up who are communicating in WRITING (English). I nick-named them “narns” (in honor of CS Lewis’ “Narnians”…) I do science along with story – something that Reichs’ writing strengthened in me after my wife and I started watching the TV show whose main character is based on Kathy Reichs’ novels. I use science to educate young people – as well as spin a good story.

“Other writers can learn from Reichs how to strike that delicate balance between educating your readers and entertaining them.”

OK? What the heck am I doing writing this! I need to get to work on a new story!

References:
https://www.hiddengemsbooks.com/what-writers-learn-from-kathy-reichs
https://www.writerswrite.co.za/bits-of-writing-advice-from-kathy-reichs/
https://shows.acast.com/quick-book-reviews/episodes/kathy-reichs-on-evil-bones-temperance-brennan-writing-crime
Image: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhK6miXJMTMNyB3kzq-r6I2LVCTZJj0CDS0dPV2Qapl6e9rZPuHx2u5QKcKT1QGeDg1_tPMv-lpnuSr_eiBjwPXmex9mcgtuH2-SUtZEpGWV0_HdtJQelVt5K69NulJBUqNju5GNjHgQibXsIo4NeWpTOj4ai85jCRjMHOtwtkqshzxFvZPUSjXZNq6=s320

IDEAS ON TUESDAY 707

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them? Regarding Fantasy, this insight was startling: “I see the fantasy genre as an ever-shifting metaphor for life in this world, an innocuous medium that allows the author to examine difficult, even controversial, subjects with impunity. Honor, religion, politics, nobility, integrity, greed—we’ve an endless list of ideals to be dissected and explored. And maybe learned from.” – Melissa McPhail.

F Trope: White magic
Event: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD1SLcyMZRE

Mahamat Abeche and Liha Beledweyne looked at each other across the table in the Gersthofen Commons of Göggingen College.

“The thing about Americans?” Liha said. She watched a gaggle of students mutter on by.

“Which thing about Americans?” asked Mahamat. Liha looked at him in disgust. For having so many bad things to say about the US, he certainly had no qualms about the food. He was stuffing a sheaf of “French” fries into his mouth then washing it down with a Coke.

“The thing about Americans is that they’re so…materialistic. They think that what they see is what they get.” He rolled her eyes and shook her head. Even she picked up Americanisms without even realizing it. Her father had warned her that America would badly muffle her perception of the spirit world. She’d figured she could handle it. She now figured that it was a good thing that the college was so close to a Somolian neighborhood – while her spiritual sense was nowhere near as sharp as it had been at home, at least she still had one.

Mahamat looked up at her over his plate of fried. Once he’d chewed and swallowed, she said, “You East Africans are so proud of your supposed closeness with the spirit world. What about us? Chad grew from a population emigrated there in the seventh millennium B.C.!”

She snorted. “We were there from the ninth millennium B.C. onward. We were practically there are the dawn of Human civilization.”

“So you supposedly know all about everything spiritual because your forebears were around a couple thousand years before mine were?”

“No, I’m more spiritual because I’m more spiritual. You’re a brainless blob with so little spiritual sense that I’ve been dead trees with more spiritual energy than you have.”

“Hey!” Mahamat exclaimed. The tip of a fry fell from his mouth.

“So, if you’re more spiritual than a log, you’re gonna have to prove it.”

He grunted then said, “I didn’t want to have to bring out the big guns, but now you’ve impugned my masculinity. I have to...”

“Do you even know what the word means?”

“What? ‘impugn’ means ‘honesty of (a statement or motive); challenge; call into question.’ See?” He smirked.

“That’s not the word I meant.”

Scowling, he said, “I know white magic and I can prove it.”

“What?”

Mahamat lifted his chin. “In white magic – as it was passed on to me by my mother – we follow specific ethical codes and adopt social convention. But I know a spell to protect an item.” He leaned over and grabbed his backpack, opened it and pulled his laptop out, opened it and powered it up. Sitting back in his chair, he muttered then looked up at her. “I’ve protected my laptop with a spell.” He stood up. “I gotta go to the bathroom,” he said loudly and walked away.

Liha said, “What are you doing? If you leave your...” He flipped her off and kept going.

She stared after him incredulously, flipped him back, spun around and walked away. She walked past the Göggingen Gallery then came back around, unobtrusively watching the open laptop. It sat just fine for several moments. Four people walked past going in different directions, but no one made a move for the computer.

Then a peculiarly shabby male student, long hair obscuring his face, his sweatshirt slightly rattier than usual walked toward the table. He reached for the laptop…

Names: ♀ Somalia; ♂ Tchad
Image: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/98/71/e5/9871e52bbc09c525af21b8f6471eab15.jpg

CREATING ALIEN ALIENS 44: Under Pressure: Exploring Oceans Beyond Earth

Under Pressure: Exploring Oceans Beyond Earth – We're finding liquid water everywhere in the solar system. What will it take for humanity to explore and/or colonize those vast new oceans?
William Ledbetter: 2016 Nebula Award, edits for Heroic Fantasy Quarterly, runs the Jim Baen Memorial Short Story Award contest (Baen Books, the National Space Society)
Pat MacEwen: anthropologist/author, several short stories in F&SF
Laurel Anne Hill: authored The Engine Woman’s Light, one other novel
Too bad James L. Cambias wasn’t part of this panel. His novel, A DARKLING SEA, takes place under the ice surfaced ocean of the alien world, Illmatar. It’s more complex than that, but his aliens and their entirely fire-less biotech society and culture are fascinating.

Jupiter’s moon, Europa figures in several science fiction stories ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter%27s_moons_in_fiction), more than one dealing with life in the waters under the ice. There’s ice under the surfaces of Mars and Venus as well: http://theconversation.com/water-water-everywhere-in-our-solar-system-but-what-does-that-mean-for-life-76315

Certainly we will explore those places when time and technology are right, but I think this session was looking beyond that. We’ve established that there’s water elsewhere than on the home world. So? Who cares? We need water on Earth – but even though the surface is 71% water, we can only “use” a fraction of that. Roughly three percent of that water is “usably freshwater” and of that, most of it is frozen or underground. Vast swaths of the surface of our OWN planet are completely uninhabited by Humans. We laud and magnify ourselves for having “conquered Earth” as well as chide ourselves for “destroying the oceans”…

But we can easily walk on only 29% of the surface, and of that, 57% is uninhabitable…so, Humans live on just sixteen percent of the Earth’s surface. Seems that “conquered” is a somewhat relative term. Here the discussion looked at “what it will take for humanity to explore and/or colonize those vast new oceans”. Yet we haven’t even colonized our own oceans. We avoid them typically. There are Humans who have never had any encounter with an ocean at all, and the ones who say that they have might have gone swimming in one or flown over one. Even those who live “on” the ocean might have little to do with the water itself. As I live in the land-locked center of North America, I have no idea how many people in Los Angeles actually “use” or have “conquered” the Pacific.

Certainly people HAVE done things with the ocean, interacting with it intimately – my daughter spent time on New Zealand as an exchange student learning about Maori art; most everyone reading this has seen the kid’s movie, “Moana”. Many of us have “been to Hawaii”.

Can we honestly say in any real sense that Humans have “conquered the oceans”? Do we really live there, or do we just USE the oceans? We certainly like to dump stuff there: https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/podcast/june14/mw126-garbagepatch.html, in particular, insoluble plastic.

Some people claim that living on the oceans is “impossible” or “unlikely”, but the fact is that we have created artificial islands: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_artificial_islands, we just haven’t made them very large, the largest owned near Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. Japan has created the most artificial islands, and Holland has been doing it for two thousand years. The ancient Egyptians also made islands.

But our ability to push back oceans and to really, truly inhabit them is entirely unrealized on this planet. There are no undersea cities – a peculiar dream of mine – but there are some who think they might be possible: https://www.westminster.ac.uk/news-and-events/news/2016/westminster-academics-predict-underwater-cities-downloadable-food-and-3d-printed-houses-by-2116. Science fiction (sort of in some of the cases noted) has had a stab at it: https://io9.gizmodo.com/5560901/the-11-greatest-underwater-cities-of-science-fiction

None of the sources mentioned SEAQUEST DSV, and while there were no cities under the surface of the ocean, there were colonies and (at least in its first season), a serious attempt at writing the stories. In this future, the bottom of the ocean is the only place left where there are exploitable natural resources and Humans need to be there to utilize them.

Yet there are still SOME people entertaining the possibility of us REALLY living under the surface of the oceans. Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3rs886Imgk then give it some thought...would YOU live "20,000 Leagues UNDER the SEA...

Image: https://blaustein.foundation/dubai-underwater-city-life-extending-technological-marvel/

IDEAS ON TUESDAYS 706

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them. Octavia Butler said, “SF doesn’t really mean anything at all, except that if you use science, you should use it correctly, and if you use your imagination to extend it beyond what we already know, you should do that intelligently.”

SF Trope: Isaac Asimov’s Three Kinds Of Science Fiction: “Gadget sci-fi: Man invents car, holds lecture on how it works.”
Current Event: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/12/131210071936.htm

Khünbish Qureshi said, “Once we drill through the ice, we can begin extract the uranium. But we have to do it fast.” He tapped the wide pipe with his heavily armored hand. While there was no true atmosphere and the surface of the moon was exposed to the radiation sleet from Jupiter, they both wore flexible suits and had ridden to the surface on little more than a hovering plate.

“You think extracting a few metric tonnes of uranium from this moon would have any kind of effect at all?” asked Yelizavta Zaya. She bounced a few meters back after stomping her foot.

“I can’t say for sure.”

“Why not?”

“I’m a geologist...”

“You mean a Eurologist?”

“That makes me sound like a bladder specialist!”

“Well, it’s not Earth, so you can’t be a ‘geologist’.”

“There’s not a bladder in sight, either!”

Beneath their feet, the ice sang. On any other world, it would have been a quake, but here the ice vibrated, shifting, sliding along cracked edges. Immense crevasses sang bass that shook the world like a drum head; smaller ones sang faint hymns of joy; the smallest sang beyond the hearing of Humans.

Khünbish slapped the pipe again and said, “If there were living things under the surface, maybe my sucking the lifeblood from the water will make them sit up and take notice.”

“I doubt there’re sitting beings under our feet, Khun.”

He grimaced at the diminutive – Americans and Loonies made a habit of lopping parts of people’s names off willy-nilly – and said, “Whatever they’re doing, I’m hoping they notice.”

“And if there’s nothing under our feet but ice, water, uranium?”

“Then we stand to make a fortune and retire wherever we want to.” He bounced back as the ice began to sing again. As he fell to the surface, he grimaced and said, “Can you hear that?”

“Technically, I can’t hear anything. The vibrations from the ice are…”

“Literalist,” Khünbish said.

“I thought you Mongolians were literalists, but here I find you’re a pure romantic,” Yelizavta poked back. She sighed as the ice under her feet shook again.

Her partner froze in place and whispered, “I think I hear something…”

Names: ♀ Russia, Mongolian; ♂ Mongolian, Pakistan
Image: https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/C2nVRtyWKDsGheTkefwup8-970-80.jpg.webp

Where Did MARTIAN HOLIDAY Come From?

“Seventeen years ago, I wondered what would happen if Paul, Esther, Stephen, and Daniel had been born on Mars in the 26^th Century…that’s where Paolo, Aster, Stepan, and DaneelAH (with their clone brother HanAH, and clone sisters AzAH, and MishAH) met and got tangled in a revolution. But together, they thought they might turn a revolution into a Reformation.

(Oh…there’s a the Face On Mars, too. And the Dalai Lama of Mars; several mysterious alien artifacts; and a coven of witches, an atheist or two, plus a few other characters as well as violence both war and personal – almost all of them did not want to see Mars destroyed.)

I love this Mars. I hope you do, too.