POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAYS: What EXACTLY Am I Trying To Say With My Writing…Is It A GOOD Thing, Or A Selfish Thing?

On October 7, 2007, I started this blog. Eighteen years later, I am revising and doing some different things. My wife and I are now retired senior citizens, our kids are both married, we have a bonus daughter and her wife and we have three grandchildren, (with a fourth on-the-way!) the oldest of which will soon finish his first year in high school, one smack in the center of Middle School; the third almost done with kindergarten. I have forty-five professional publications, plus countless other publications as a slushpile reader, and sometime essay contributor to Stupefying Stories https://stupefyingstories.blogspot.com/. These days, I write whenever I want to – or when I’m not busy exploring the world with my wife or kids or grandkids. I write and read constantly. Then I discovered that I was writing longer and longer pieces. My new focus is to write shorter; and to write HUMOR. On purpose. Maybe I can still irritate people while being funny. It works pretty well for John Scalzi! We’ll see what happens. 

I’m hard at work writing a short story for my favorite magazine on Earth, ANALOG SCIENCE FICTION AND FACT – it’s a story pulled out of my novel MARTIAN HOLIDAY and hopefully it will be for ANALOG.

 But is that a “good thing”? Is it self-centered?

Lately, I’ve been wondering what is it I’ve been trying to say all theses years…I’m gonna ignore my essays, because they have a very particular goal in mind every time I write one. They say essays come in various categories, (persuasive, informative, argumentative, critical, personal, comparative, how to)and I’m pretty sure I can yank each one from the several hundred I’ve written over the years. I recently had a query from someone whose job is “Author Brand Architect & Publishing Strategist”. I have some idea what that is now, but after talking to my wife and my daughter (who is a successful writer (as well as a mental health therapist, focusing on adolescents) – we decided that it sounded a bit too far into the “too good to be true” camp. Enthusiastic and polite, but…well, I’ve decided not to pursue that.

 At any rate, I’ve been wondering what exactly it IS I’m trying to say to the world – in particular  in my fiction. I think I’ve hesitated for some time because I’m AFRAID of what I’ve been trying to say all these years. So…finally, I think I’ll take a few of the stories I know BEST and tell you what I’m trying to say in them…

 Certainly Orson Scott Card is “…speaking to this (maybe in more than one story): “This is how humans are: We question all our beliefs, except for the ones that we really believe in, and those we never think to question.” ― Orson Scott Card, Speaker for the Dead

 Marion Zimmer Bradley’s…”writing primarily focuses on feminist retellings of mythology and history. She often subverted patriarchal narratives by shifting the focus to female perspectives, exploring the clash between pagan matriarchal traditions and emerging Christianity, and examining themes of personal freedom and morality.”

 Lois McMaster Bujold's writing “…explores themes of overcoming adversity, the power of empathy, and the triumph of intellect over physical might. She often highlights characters with disabilities or those marginalized by society…”

 Steven Brust “…explores the tension between personal ambition and the consequences of one's choices. Through his signature "Cool Stuff Theory of Literature" (writing stories about what he finds coolest), he masks sharp, egalitarian socio-political critiques.”

 Bruce Bethke “… confronts Cynicism Toward Authority and Revolution: His broader writings look at the absurdities of power, often highlighting the cycles where revolutionary movements ultimately get replaced by equally oppressive authoritarian rule.”

 C.S. Lewis “…wrote his Space Trilogy (also known as the Ransom Trilogy) to combat the rising tide of secular humanism, scientific materialism, and technocracy. He argued that humanity's dream of conquering and colonizing the universe without God was a dangerous and spiritually empty ideology.”

 CJ Cherryh’s “…science fiction…explores the realities of human survival, political pragmatism, and the profound difficulty of understanding genuinely alien minds. Rather than focusing on miraculous technologies, she examines how individuals, cultures, and species navigate social inertia, maintain institutions, and adapt to survive…”

 So, how about me? I DID run across this in an essay I wrote in February of 2022: “I guess I adhere to the MASH ‘school of writing’: deal with a serious issue; and (in the best episodes), reveal a humorous side to the deadly side. I’ll need to remember that in the story I’m writing right now.”

 That’s given me an idea – maybe I need to go back to what I’ve written in the past. There must be SOME hints of what I’m doing with my writing in among the past 19 years of nattering on about myself and what interests me! Besides, while I KNOW the number doesn’t reflect the “number of fans” I have, it DOES reflect (actually COUNTS) the number of times people have visited my website:

 That seems to be a few…

 or a bit more on “what I’m trying to say”, follow the link to an essay by me published by SFWA in July of 2012 (I know, fourteen years ago! But I find my thoughts are still pretty much the same…) here: https://sfwa.org/2012/07/11/guest-post-when-did-science-fiction-and-apocalypse-become-interchangeable/

 I also answered some questions on goodreads when EMERALD OF EARTH came out a few years ago. You can read it here:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/1229225.Guy_Stewart/questions

 But the question still remains for ME to answer, “What am I trying to say?” I think it may be a good idea to READ WHAT I'VE WRITTEN! It also wouldn't hurt if anyone reading this would respond and tell me what YOU think I'm trying to say!

Inspiration: My Own Work and other writers I admire.
Image: https://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-1/487857795_10160346741246324_940725288591990155_n.jpg?stp=c0.175.720.720a_dst-jpg_tt6&cstp=mx720x720&ctp=s200x200&_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=e99d92&_nc_ohc=cQCvLkrstsYQ7kNvwEytGfG&_nc_oc=Adq8VO-dGKT9Eo-cc5-3NJY8BbkqjETQeatTvg2ie5Ws_ogX18TNZqSIIj6JNqw8d44&_nc_zt=24&_nc_ht=scontent-msp1-1.xx&_nc_gid=9g5LRp7RRCAldDHh9gmG4g&_nc_ss=7a2a8&oh=00_AQBZky85gTS7zjOph8hURaYeGQmhfCvJE67XZ_0WfyFUug&oe=6A612EED

I Needed THIS To Be EASILY Available...it wasn't until now!

 

SLICE OF PIE: Our Unlikely Love for ENOLA HOLMES and the Genre of the MYSTERY...and others...

On October 7, 2007, I started this blog. Eighteen years later, I am revising and doing some different things. My wife and I are now retired senior citizens, our kids are both married, we have a bonus daughter and her wife and we have three grandchildren, (with a fourth on-the-way!) the oldest of which will soon finish his first year in high school, one smack in the center of Middle School; the third almost done with kindergarten. I have forty-five professional publications, plus countless other publications as a slushpile reader, and sometime essay contributor to Stupefying Stories https://stupefyingstories.blogspot.com/.
These days, I write whenever I want to – or when I’m not busy exploring the world with my wife or kids or grandkids. I write and read constantly. Then I discovered that I was writing longer and longer pieces. My new focus is to write shorter; and to write HUMOR. On purpose. Maybe I can still irritate people while being funny. It works pretty well for John Scalzi! We’ll see what happens.

Seeing the advertising for the first ENOLA HOLMES (2020 movie Netflix) brought out a feeling of, “Of all the IDIOTIC STUFF on NORMALLY idiotic television (my father called the television the “idiot box” (this was when the thing actually WAS a box holding a cathode ray tube…). My wife had the same reaction.

A couple nights ago, we were searching for something new along the lines of “The Thursday Murder Club” movie – nothing too difficult to watch, nothing to strain the brain, but clever, snarky, and with a touch of humor.

The search turned up the usual suspects, almost all of which we’ve seen. Now, I KNOW I am well-known as a SF fan and writer and that it perfectly just! However, several years ago, I developed a taste for the detective Walt Longmire (Did I ever mention that I also LOATHE Westerns? I do.), and in a strange turn of events, Brent Spiner (STAR TREK’s Mr. Data) played Sherlock Holmes in the movie, FIRST CONTACT…which was actually a Star Trek full-length movie!

One of the movies ranked with That included ENOLA HOLMES. With a heavy sigh, we decided to give it a try, but had a few other movies in the queue which we could reasonably spend a few hours mindlessly watching.

The “blurb” for the BOOKS was…questionable…at best (though the first and a later one were both awarded Edgars (YA lit’s equivalent of SF’s HUGO, and movie’s Academy Award): “The Enola Holmes Mysteries…[star] Enola Holmes…14-year-old sister of…Sherlock Holmes, twenty years her senior. The…series borrows characters and settings from the established canon of Sherlock Holmes, but the Enola character is Springer's creation and specific to this series.” The 14-year-old Enola is the same age as our granddaughter…who is also into mystery, murder, and mayhem…she ALSO has a wicked sense of humor. Figure Holmes himself is usually represented with something of a sharp (or wicked) wit, we hoped that Enola might have some of that.

With further study, we found that the two were NOT quite the same: “A 2020 mystery film starring Millie Bobby Brown as the title character, the teenage sister of the already famous Victorian-era detective Sherlock Holmes. The film is directed by Harry Bradbeer from a screenplay by Jack Thorne that adapts the first novel in The Enola Holmes Mysteries series by Nancy Springer. In the film, Enola travels to London to find her missing mother but ends up on a thrilling adventure, pairing up with a runaway lord as they attempt to solve a mystery that threatens the entire country. In addition to Brown, the film also stars Sam Claflin, Henry Cavill, and Helena Bonham Carter (who, BTW was ALSO Bellatrix Lestrange, evil witch in four Harry Potter movies).

To arms, then: it turns out that you can’t see a movie by it’s title or blurb…Enola Holmes was truly fantastic! As such, it compelled us to NOT immediately blitz through the other two without a care in the world! We waited a few days before watching EH 2 last night; and we MIGHT last through the night tonight without watching EH 3! (Maybe…) The question was WHY was was it SO FREAKILY GOOD?

First of course, was that “Sherlock Holmes”! Really, how much more compulsion do you need? The character “…holds the Guinness World Record for the most-portrayed literary human character in film and television. Estimates indicate that over 75 to 130 actors have played the detective on screen, with comprehensive lists (including stage and audio productions) featuring nearly 350 actors…” https://www.imdb.com/list/ls098162253/

Secondly, I just realized that both SF and Mystery are what are called “genre literature” which is, by definition…”any style or form of communication in any mode (written, spoken, digital, artistic, etc.) with socially agreed-upon conventions developed over time…” The genres most of us are familiar with besides SF and Mystery are (off the top of my head) spy, fantasy, horror, Western – though it appears not even the EXPERTS know how many genres there are. Seems to be some number between three https://www.thoughtco.com/genre-in-literature-1690896; to seven; to 28; to 35; to 113…to (I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to count them) several HUNDRED (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_writing_genres)...

Sherlock Holmes is possibly even his OWN genre! I write “hard science fiction” – which is what MARTIAN HOLIDAY is…but it has a religious flavor to it as well (Christian, witchcraft (there’s a coven), and Buddhism (the Dalai Llama of Mars puts in an appearance), as well as the United Faith in Humanity.

All of this to say that my wife and I watched Enola Holmes 2 (2022): “In September 2020, co-producer and star Millie Bobby Brown (16 in the movie rather than the books’ 14)…an original story based on the real 1888 matchgirls' strike and the life of labor activist Sarah Chapman…to advance her career as a detective (or a “finder of things” [she] has to work with others and not just be reliant on herself. It's a story that goes from 'I' to 'we', and that is a story of sisterhood.” We will soon be watching Enola Holmes 3…

I think I’d like to try my hand at a Sherlock Holmes on Mars story…or even better, invent my OWN sleuth…maybe a retired science teacher who’s looking for something to do in his retirement.

Hmmm…

Inspiration and references: ENOLA HOLMES 1, 2, 3; Bellatrix Lestrange (four HARRY POTTER movies; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millie_Bobby_Brown; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genre

MINING THE ASTEROIDS Part 39: Wanna Be An Asteroid Miner When You Grow Up?

Initially, I started this series because of the 2021 World Science Fiction Convention, DisCON which I WOULD have been attending in person if I felt safe enough to do so in person AND it hadn’t been changed to the week before the Christmas Holidays…HOWEVER, as time passed, I knew that this was a subject I was going to explore because it interests me…
Today’s Source: https://www.planetary.org/articles/chinas-tianwen-2-mission-has-probably-arrived-at-a-quasi-moon-of-earth (June 24, 2026)

Oddly enough, under the influence of my son (there’s a LONG and fascinating story there about the ASTRONOMICAL advance of his reading skills and interest since first grade…) I found out that HE read THREE BODY PROBLEM by Liu Cixin (as I am interested in words and language, his name is pronounced “lee-oh ts'-uh-sheen” – Or as it reads on the cover of the book (incorrectly, apparently) Cixin Liu). So, I’m reading it now.

At any rate, the race to mine space (not with exploding mines, but taking ores from asteroids and refining it on Earth (or…in space, but I think that’s a DIFFERENT story!) appears to have started:

“Asa Stahl, PhD; Science Editor at The Planetary Society wrote on May 21, 2024: “Earth hosts seven known quasi-moons, an unknown number of minimoons, and maybe, sometimes, two ghost moons. Though none of these pseudo-moons are as big or influential as Earth’s one true natural satellite — the Moon — they are still valuable for science and exploration. Quasi- and minimoons offer promising targets for future space missions, a window into our planet’s neighborhood, and a sampling of the sort of asteroids that could potentially hit Earth.”

He wrote in an article posted June 24, 2026 that, “China’s Tianwen-2 mission has (probably) arrived at a quasi-moon of Earth.” Andrew Jones, also an editor at TPS, notes, “… around July 4, we [should] get the confirmation that, ‘Yes, Tianwen-2 is in its desired orbit, here's an image.’” EDITORIAL SNARK: It is ALMOST certainly sheer coincidence that China will land on a moon (quasi or otherwise) around the 250th Anniversary of the US and “roughly” 57 years after Neil Armstrong, et al landed on the Moon in 1969…

Back to mining! https://fortune.com/2026/07/02/china-private-space-industry-landspace-geely-spacex-rainer-zitelmann/ Fortune magazine reported that “Initially, Chinese policymakers did not take Elon Musk’s company particularly seriously. But as Falcon 9 dramatically lowered launch costs through reusability and SpaceX began dominating global launch markets, attitudes changed. Chinese leaders recognized that they could not rely solely “the government to mine/colonize/pioneer space”. As a result, hundreds of commercial space companies emerged. Many were founded by engineers who previously worked for state-owned aerospace organizations but became frustrated with bureaucracy and slow decision-making. By 2022, China had approximately 430 private space companies. By 2024, the combined value of the country’s 100 largest space firms was estimated at roughly $100 billion.”

CHINA is getting excited about space and mining the asteroids, while WE diddle around, assuming that American dominance in space was a given and we now have more important things to do – like play video games, own more powerful cell phones, and buy more stuff…led by a self-centered billionaire whose sole vision involves remodeling swimming pools and rebuilding extravagant ballrooms…Americans will shortly find themselves farther behind the “unAmerican” powers that we did when Germany invaded Poland and Japan surreptitiously took over the US AFTER the WWII…with manufacturing and technology.

“The United States still enjoys a significant advantage [over China]. Measured against SpaceX alone, the gap remains substantial. But that comparison can be misleading. China has built remarkable depth across the entire industry. In launch services, satellites, communications technologies, and space manufacturing, dozens of Chinese companies are now competing simultaneously.

“The history of Chinese industry reveals a familiar pattern: first imitation, then improvement — and finally innovation. This evolution has already occurred in sectors such as automobiles, batteries, telecommunications, and consumer electronics. There is little reason to assume that space will be different.”

If anyone reading this is planning on being an asteroid miner, I would suggest you make like the Iron Rangers in central Minnesota did at one point in the 1940s, “…due to the diverse immigrant workforce, many spoken interactions in the mines and surrounding communities occurred in Finnish, Slovenian, Croatian, and Italian…” (https://www.mnhs.org/mnopedia/search/index/immigration-iron-range-1880-1930)...

START LEARNING CHINESE!

“What’s a quasi-moon?” Funny you should ask… https://www.planetary.org/articles/the-quasi-moons-of-earth
Planetary Society article: https://www.planetary.org/articles/the-quasi-moons-of-earth
Foundational Resource: (A general Wikipedia post detailing what the authors currently know about asteroid mining: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asteroid_mining)
Noted Resources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_asteroid_close_approaches_to_Earth, https://www.pharostribune.com/news/local_news/article_7fcd3ea5-3c14-533f-a8d5-9bf629922f34.html, https://www.fool.com/investing/2022/04/29/like-asteroid-mining-be-careful-what-you-wish-for/, https://www.nps.gov/wrbr/learn/historyculture/theroadtothefirstflight.htm, https://hackaday.com/2019/03/27/extraterrestrial-excavation-digging-holes-on-other-worlds/, https://www.planetary.org/space-missions/every-small-worlds-mission
Interesting Stuff The Might Apply To Mining Asteroids: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cgej7gzg8l0o

Image: https://i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-000087284388-7gj0v4-t500x500.jpg

IDEAS ON TUESDAY 712

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them. Octavia Butler said, “SF doesn’t really mean anything at all, except that if you use science, you should use it correctly, and if you use your imagination to extend it beyond what we already know, you should do that intelligently.”

SF Trope: Benevolent Alien Invasion (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BenevolentAlienInvasion)
Current Event: http://fortune.com/2016/06/01/poverty-simulation-camps/

Landon Smith shaded his eyes as he looked up into the crystal clear Nebraska sky. September was an odd time for an Alien invasion. “What do you suppose this group wants to see?” he asked the girl next to him as he pulled off his cowboy hat and wiped at the band of sweat. Even though school had already started, it was still a scorcher. Clarkson in Omaha had drawn him from his hometown with the brass ring of the first full-scale Theoretical Alien Psychology and Philosophy PhD in the country.

Olivia Williams had come for the same reason, though she hated the fact that she’d also promised to the college place-kicker on the football team. She sighed. She STILL wished people wanted her for mind more than her extra-point record. She said, “The same as all of them – poverty-stricken Earth People.”

“Yeah, but…” he began.

“Why come here and not Harlem or…”

“Addis Ababa or Dakar…”

“Or any of a hundred other places?”

“Why here?” they said together.

“It’s not like they talk to anyone – or even pay us any attention. We could be stray cats as far as they’re concerned.”

“Have you ever watched one of their ‘poverty retreats’?” Landon said as they first pallet jack rolled past with a platform of weird aliens. He knew he wasn’t supposed to feel that way, but they were all but incomprehensible to him – or any other Human for that matter. Not one single alien conformed to a body layout that even remotely resembled something on Earth. The “parallel evolutionists” were rethinking their theories at an alarming rate. The Laws of Evolution were being seriously considered as totally outmoded and insufficient to explain, well…anything living. One of the reasons he’d decided to major in TAPP.

“They’re so weird, they aren’t even creepy. Even in my worst nightmare I wouldn’t have been able to imagine these intelligences.”

“That’s why they aren’t particularly scary.” Landon said, “They don’t remind us of ourselves in any way, so they CAN’T be frightening. They’re…alien.”

They said the last word together again. She shrugged, “Well, I for one am looking for some way of breaking through their indifference.”

“You don’t hold with Feng Youlan’s theory that they simply cannot see us – that we’re so far outside of their realm of experience that their brains can’t interpret us at all?”

She laughed and they walked away, arm in arm. Behind them, one of the aliens twitched something that might have been an eye and might have blinked in what could be thought of as interest.

Names: ♀ common Arkansas names, ; ♂ common Idaho names
Image: https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/C2nVRtyWKDsGheTkefwup8-970-80.jpg.webp

WRITING ADVICE: Short Stories – Advice and Observation #38: “Agatha Christie & Me”

In this series, I’m going to use advice from people who, in addition to writing novels, have also spent plenty of time “interning” with short stories. While most of them are speculative fiction writers, I’ll also be looking at plain, old, effective short story writers. I’m going to use advice from people who, in addition to writing novels, have also spent plenty of time “interning” with short stories. The advice will be in the form of one or several quotes off of which I’ll jump and connect to my own writing experience. While I don’t write full-time, nor do I make enough money with my writing to live off of it...neither do most of the professional writers...someone pays for and publishes ten percent of what I write. When I started this blog, that was NOT true, so I may have reached a point where my own advice is reasonably good. We shall see as I work to increase my writing output and sales! As always, your comments are welcome! For example, “Agatha Christie was a prolific short story writer. She wrote 153 short stories collected in 14 original books, (and also wrote 66 detective novels) featuring famous sleuths like Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple. So, without further ado, short story observations by Agatha Christie – with a few from myself...)

Christie's work has sold more copies than both Shakespeare and the traditional King James Bible. She DID write GREAT WORKS that had a profound impact on the mystery genre in the English-speaking world. But she also wrote lots of short stories. But what did she have to say about WRITING them?

1. Start Your Plot
“There is always, of course, that terrible three weeks…when you are trying to get started on a [book] story. There is no agony like it.”

2. Let Your Plot Develop
“Christie found her ideas by letting her mind run wild while she was busy doing other things.” It’s NOT new or unique. It’s ALSO fun!

3. Use What Interests YOU
Christie had MANY interests: medicine, archaeology, card playing, psychic stuff, her dog, world travel, nature, and just living life to its fullest. I love science, science fiction, camping, biking, and the culture of the schools I’ve worked in, plus other countries I’ve been to. All of these can help your plot.

4. Plot Your Character’s Flaws
We ALL like to read about characters like US – except THEY can do things we can’t! Christie created one of the greatest fictional detectives of all time. This did not mean she liked Hercule Poirot! Develop your character’s background, flaws, sharp edges, and history...even though the reader might NEVER see these.

5. Plotting Characters & Their Potential
Christie once wrote that “In everyone there arises from time to time the wish to kill, though almost NEVER the will to kill.” I use my writing skills to create “monsters”, aliens, and then TONS of stress, and suspense to drive every story. Christie embraced the “dark side” of people by using her knowledge of psychology.

6. LET Cause & Effect Drive Your Plot
“To get at the cause for a thing, we have to study what happened.” Two of the most important questions for a fiction writer. ‘What if?’ leads to the WHY. ‘What happens next?’ is important for the WHAT HAPPENS. That’s cause and effect at work. If this happens, what will happen next? OUTLINE YOUR STORY! Writers can expect to spend hours alone while plotting, writing, and editing. Some writers prefer to share the task; others like Christie liked to plot alone?

FINALLY.
Mastering plot is not easy, but Christie shows that great storytelling comes down to precision, misdirection, and careful planning. Whether you’re crafting a complex mystery or simply trying to keep readers turning the pages, these tips offer a timeless blueprint for success. Use them to deepen suspense and deliver endings your readers will never see coming.

References: https://anarrativeoftheirown.substack.com/p/writing-rituals-of-agatha-christie, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUBdgv38SF4,  https://www.agathachristie.com/about-christie/how-christie-wrote, https://www.reddit.com/r/agathachristie/comments/1asnltb/what_are_the_short_agatha_books/
Image: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhK6miXJMTMNyB3kzq-r6I2LVCTZJj0CDS0dPV2Qapl6e9rZPuHx2u5QKcKT1QGeDg1_tPMv-lpnuSr_eiBjwPXmex9mcgtuH2-SUtZEpGWV0_HdtJQelVt5K69NulJBUqNju5GNjHgQibXsIo4NeWpTOj4ai85jCRjMHOtwtkqshzxFvZPUSjXZNq6=s320

CREATING ALIEN ALIENS Part 44: UNBELIEVABLE Aliens

Five decades ago, I started my college career with the intent of becoming a marine biologist. I found out I had to get a BS in biology before I could even begin work on MARINE biology; especially because there WEREN'T any marine biology programs in Minnesota.
Along the way, the science fiction stories I'd been writing since I was 13 began to grow more believable. With my BS in biology and a fascination with genetics, I started to use more science in my fiction.
After reading hard SF for the past 50 years, and writing hard SF successfully for the past 20, I've started to dig deeper into what it takes to create realistic alien life forms. In the following series, I'll be sharing some of what I've learned. I've had some of those stories published, some not...I teach a class to GT young people every summer called ALIEN WORLDS. I've learned a lot preparing for that class for the past 25 years...so...I have the opportunity to share with you what I've learned thus far. Take what you can use, leave the rest. Let me know what YOU'VE learned. Without further ado...

What alien was THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE you ever forced yourself to watch (even for a few moments, just to see what would happen)?

Apparently, people LOVE playing with the idea of aliens! Following that, my opinion will be the one I’m expressing here because there doesn’t seem to be a clear consensus about the WORST alien ever presented to an audience.

For me, ET seems the most absurd. First of all, I’ll remind you that I started my teaching career as a science teacher. I’ve done ALL of them in elementary, middle school, and high school – except for Honors Physics. My science is pretty solid, so I feel comfortable saying that for trying to be something terrifying, ET is absurd. First and foremost, it would never have lasted long enough on its homeworld to even BEGIN evolution! (Don’t get me wrong, if God wanted to create any life form they wanted to, they could have done so. ET, here I come!)

BUT, given that public school science eschews Divine Creation, the creature that the movie depicts as not ONLY intelligent, but smart enough to invent, design, build, and fly a starship that skip Normal space with impunity and (obviously) and fly from their home world to numerous other planets.

The problem is that I don’t see how they could possibly survive the early stages of evolution. They can’t run, for heaven’s sake! Their neck could snap in the event of a hard fall; a trip; or a stiff breeze!

Look at ET’s fingers for heaven’s sake: I assume for lack of evidence otherwise, that ET is the lifeform on their planet that invented a star drive capable of propelling them through some kind of alternative space that doesn’t require travelling slower than the speed of light – which would mean it would take tens, hundreds, or thousands of years to make it to Earth. That requires some kind of science to create a technology, and technology is notoriously fickle and would require tools that were smaller than ET’s fingers…

I’ll grant eyes so large they make adult Humans swoon and cause children to place implicit trust in a creature who’d traveled some incredible number of light years to reach them. ET is also intelligent enough to make sense of colloquial English, as well. Linguist? OK, I’ll grant it. But logical? Realistic? Sorry – the biology just doesn’t carry it believably for me. Granted: I hardly look like the end result of intelligent Humans who first escaped being eaten enough times to have lots of kid; who then started tinkering with science and technology; and who recently (finally) returned Humans to orbit the Moon and who have had a sustained presence outside of Earth’s atmosphere for 27 years.

But supposedly, ET is some sort of scientist; an explorer; and granted he has psychic powers that allow him to lift things and fly them by sheer power of mind…

But as a fictional alien? Sorry, I’m believing that our REAL First Contact will introduce us to aliens who are at least as intelligent as the smartest Humans…

Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E.T._the_Extra-Terrestrial, https://www.reddit.com/r/FIlm/comments/1k9xtml/hot_take_i_hate_et_its_antiscience_trash/ Image: https://www.savannahnow.com/gcdn/authoring/2013/06/26/NSMN/ghows-GA-1525da98-72f7-4b22-8bdb-9522cdabe259-0091e7b9.jpeg?width=660&height=587&fit=crop&format=pjpg&auto=webp

IDEA ON TUESDAY 711

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them. Regarding horror, I found this insight in line with WIRED FOR STORY: “ We seek out…stories which give us a place to put our fears…Stories that frighten us or unsettle us - not just horror stories, but ones that make us uncomfortable or that strike a chord somewhere deep inside - give us the means to explore the things that scare us…” – Lou Morgan (The Guardian)

H Trope: apocalyptic diary/journal/log
Event: http://news.discovery.com/earth/oceans/lost-continent-discovered-beneath-indian-ocean-130225.htm

Andrianampoinimerinatompokoindrindra Zehrezgi – who preferred to go by Andri Zee – tried to keep his last meal down as the boat rocked beneath his feet.

“Isn’t this exhilarating?” exclaimed Shamma Maslah.

“When do you think the hurricane is going to stop?” he asked.

Shamma burst out laughing. “There’s no hurricane! In fact this is the calmest day I’ve seen since we were out here.” She glanced at him and went to the railing and said, “If you don’t like the ocean, why’d you come out here?”

“This site is within the waters of my country.”

She made a face, saying, “I didn’t know you had a country. Not how you talk about it anyway.”

“Madagascar is my homeland!” She grunted and leaned over the rail, looking deeply into the water. “Watch out!” he cried, stepping forward, arm outstretched.

She looked at him and laughed, “What? It scares you when I lean out this far?” she said, leaning back over the railing. Suddenly the water below her grew dark and began to bubble, gently at first, then wildly. Water geysered into the air. She screamed and staggered backward, into Andri Zee’s arms and they watched in horror as...

A fluorescent orange conning tower surged out of the water, sluicing aside until the hatch on top opened up and a young lady waved at them.

Shamma shouted, “Laura! What’s going on?”

Laura shouted back, “You won’t believe what we discovered! Not only is Mauritia a sunken island – there was some sort of sealed chamber there!”

“What?” Andri exclaimed. Majoring in archaeology, THIS is what he’d come for! “Where is it?”

“They had to send down the big sub and they’re bringing up the entire chamber right now.”

Shamma looked at Andri then Liz, bobbing in the conning tower of the sub and shouted, “The time is all wrong! Mauritia sank when the dinosaurs died. There shouldn’t be anything there.”

Liz shrugged, “I don’t know about when it sank or what should and shouldn’t be there, but there’s something big and it looks like it was sealed. See you in a bit!”

*

They rendezvoused at the small sub dock. The massive winch from the ship platform had lifted a barnacled encrusted, roughly cubic case into the air and was swinging it over the helipad, where it lowered the box down.

The metal groaned as the cables above relaxed. Andri said, “It’s heavier than it looks.”

“Way heavier,” said Liz.

Shamma frowned. There was something about it. Something strange. Despite the noise around her, she could hear…not exactly hear…sense? Feel? She wasn’t sure. Something. The hot sun of the Indian Ocean beat down on the head of the crew. Men and women in trunks and halters scampered around the deck, disconnecting chains, cables, hosing down the object. SCUBA divers were lifting up from the waterline; heavy metal music abruptly blared from the deck speakers and the recovery work began in a part atmosphere.

Shamma found a spot, out of the way. Her work on the project was cataloging and identifying life forms; part of a survey team that had set out to begin to quantify the anecdotal evidence that the oceans were beginning to recover now that the world population had precipitously fallen during the H7N9 Pandemic of 2038-2042. With over two billion people dead, the Earth seemed empty now. It scared her sometimes. Abruptly, a migraine assaulted her. It had been years since she had one.

That was when heard a voice, speaking in Olde English. She only caught the first few words, vaguely familiar, but somehow wrong as well, “In the beginning, I created this earth to inhabit heaven...” The migraine became blinding and with a squeak, she passed out.

Names: ♀ UAE, Somolian; ♂ Madagascar, Ethiopian; ♀ Hebrew (diminutive of “Elizabeth”)
Image: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51niGRrH6DL.jpg

GUY'S GOTTA TALK ABOUT...5/30/2026 Writing, Ideas, and Type 2 Diabetes...

My WRITING 5/30/26
“High Carnival” free: https://amazingstories.com/2026/04/high-carnival-by-guy-stewart-free-story/ MARTIAN HOLIDAY on Amazon. Try CH1,2 free here: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2026/02/martian-holiday-read-chapters-1-2.html

IDEA: Regarding Fantasy, this insight was startling: “Fantasy can be metaphor for life in this world, allowing a writer to examine any subject with impunity.” – Melissa McPhail.
F Trope: Conjuring…
Event: http://www.spellsofmagic.com/spells/spiritual_spells/conjuring_spells/390/page.html
Jacob Adams scowled, shivering in the cold. He wore black jeans and boots, but all he wore on top was a baseball cap turned backwards and an A-shirt. “All I want is a fire to keep warm! I said the spell, how come it’s not working?” His breath puffed out a white cloud with every word.
Ada Contepomi stood with her fists balled on her hips. She was wearing her light blue parka, mittens and knee-high Mukluks. She said, “What exactly did you expect?”
GGTA: POST #1 – LOOKING BACK I’ve been pre-diabetic for a few years. I knew I could change my diagnosis if I just followed a few simple steps. I needed to lose weight, exercise more, and eat right. My response to that knowledge was, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ll get to it! Besides I eat pretty good. I ride my bike! I sometimes lose weight!” Well, the jig is up. I’d been caught with my proverbial pants down. Nothing evil going down, but I’m now officially diabetic.
https://breastcancerreaper.blogspot.com/2026/05/my-first-post-at-guys-gotta-talk.html
Image: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41J0VUNJ8ML._SY445_SX342_QL70_FMwebp_.jpg

IDEAS ON TUESDAY 710

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them? Regarding Fantasy, this insight was startling: “I see the fantasy genre as an ever-shifting metaphor for life in this world, an innocuous medium that allows the author to examine difficult, even controversial, subjects with impunity. Honor, religion, politics, nobility, integrity, greed—we’ve an endless list of ideals to be dissected and explored. And maybe learned from.” – Melissa McPhail.

F Trope: Conjuring…
Event: http://www.spellsofmagic.com/spells/spiritual_spells/conjuring_spells/390/page.html

Jacob Adams scowled, shivering in the cold. He wore black jeans and boots, but all he wore on top was a baseball cap turned backwards and an A-shirt. “All I want is a fire to keep warm! I said the spell, how come it’s not working?” His breath puffed out a white cloud with every word.

Ada Contepomi stood with her fists balled on her hips. She was wearing her light blue parka, mittens and knee-high Mukluks. She said, “What exactly did you expect?”

“Fire! The website said that all I needed to do was, like, imagine the fire then speak the words and I’d have it.”

“So if ‘conjuring fire’ was so easy, don’t you think that everybody and their mother would be doing it right now?” She sniffed. “You should try and find a spell for something useful – like conjuring a tank of gas or a Big Mac with fries and a large, hot peppermint mocha!”

There was a sharp snap that had nothing to do with icicles falling from the roof of Jacob’s house and a ball of fire suddenly flared up, hovering over the snow in the driveway. “Oh, my gosh!” Jacob said, dropping to his chest on the frozen driveway, staring at the flickering ball of flame. He held out his hand then looked up at Ada, “Hey! It’s not hot or anything. It’s no warmer than the air!”

Ada looked disgusted and said, “So even though your magic spell worked – it didn’t make what you wanted it to make?” Shaking her head, she said, “When you’re ready to give up this crazy stunt, come in and we’ll watch Wheel Of Fortune.” She turned and stalked away.

Jacob lay in the driveway, staring at the whirling flame ball. Holding his palm to the flame, he moved his hand slowly closer until he was almost touching it. “Maybe it’s only hot on the surface or something.” He uncurled a finger and reached slowly toward it, ready to jerk it back in case the little flame ball was actually hot.

He didn’t realize what was happening until he noticed that his finger had disappeared up to the knuckle…

Names: ♂ USA ; ♂ Argentina

Image: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/98/71/e5/9871e52bbc09c525af21b8f6471eab15.jpg