April 30, 2022

POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY: Me and The Daughter Talk About MEN IN BLACK 3 – and Its Social Significance!

NOT using the Programme Guide of the 2021 World Science Fiction Convention, DisCON III, which I WOULD have been attending in person if I felt safe enough to do so in person AND it hadn’t been changed to the week before the Christmas Holidays…I WILL NOT use the Programme Guide to jump off, jump on, rail against, or shamelessly agree with the BRIEF DESCRIPTION given in the pdf copy of the Program Guide. This explanation is reserved for when I dash “off topic”, sometimes reviewing movies, sometimes reviewing books, and other times taking up the spirit of a blog an old friend of mine used to keep called THE RANTING ROOM…


Some time ago, The Daughter and I went to see Men In Black 3. We wrote an article together for a blog I was part of then. My wife and I watched the movie last night -- it was a Redbox pick -- and even the second time, it held up surprisingly well. Even the reviewers liked it. So I guess, in retrospect, The Daughter and I did pretty well! If you have anything to add, leave a comment or ten!

Let me just say that while my daughter and I share a voracious reading habit, our reading MATERIAL is wildly different. We’ve been known to cross over into each other’s territory, but for the most part, I read and write science fiction and she reads and writes fantasy.

Even in terms of the MIB franchise – I love it for the aliens, she loves it for Will Smith...(;-))

I’m NOT going to iterate the plot here. If you really want to know the entire movie before you see it, go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_in_Black_3 to get the complete lowdown.

The Daughter and I are here to review the movie and first of all I want to point out that if you’re shy of emotional issues, then this MIB is not for you. Where the others were a joyous romp all over the tropes of alien occupation, invasion and secret societies; MIB3 for the first time deals with feelings. The Daughter: And not just superficial feelings between Will Smith and an alien princess (ahem…Men in Black 2), but real, substantial feelings that resonate not just with blissful lovebirds but with the human experience at a deeper level.

Therein lies its strength.

Io9 recently posted on “trilogies”, the best and the worst – it’s worth a read! Read it here: http://io9.com/5912471/best-and-worst-movie-threequels-of-all-time. If I was writing the piece, I would now add the MIB franchise to the BEST, especially if you drop the second, painfully hideous flick (sorry Rick).

Where the first two movies were alien romps with gross beings and fantastic laser guns, and while the third one has these, there is a far deeper story here. Even more amazing, the character who is pushing for the deeper story is J, Will Smith’s character. Smart, sassy and obnoxious for the first two movies, it’s as if he grew up in the interval between MIB2 and MIB3. He is, in fact, older in this movie than in the others! Both The Daughter and I noticed that Will Smith has aged albeit gracefully. The Daughter: Meanwhile Tommy Lee Jones is wizened and equipped with his usual endearing stoicism, he just sort of looks old. MIB1 was made in 1997 and MIB2 in 2002, so that means that Smith was a “kid” of 29 and is now 43. Those years, especially with children added in, can age a person, especially when he and his wife worked full time as actors as well as having a family life and everything that entails in these early years of the 21st Century.

That explains the new depth of character that Smith gives Agent J, and it seems to me that the main issue broached in the movie is one that Smith may have had to face when he was 13, and one he has likely pondered as a dad.

Another actor The Daughter and I discussed was Emma Thompson. Winner of 40 awards including Emmys, Oscars and Golden Globes whose acting credits run from playing Beatrice in Shakespeare’s MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING to the voice of the cat woman, Captain Amelia in the cartoon TREASURE PLANET. She has played such eccentric and varied characters as Nanny McPhee and Karen Eiffel. We could just see her agent handing her the script for MIB3 and her trying to fend it off, and crying in her distinctive British accent, “No, no, please! Not another American film! Especially about alien invasions! I refuse to be known as That British Sci-Fi Actor! Look what happened to Sigourney Weaver!”

We imagined the agent begging her and finally, exasperated, she would grab the script and begin to read. When she’s done, she would have sighed and clutched the pages to her chest, leaned back and said, “Now THIS is intelligent.”

Because above all things, MIB3 is smart, sassy and has fascinating characters – finally.

Don’t get me wrong, the gross aliens are still there: Humans in fanciful costumes, Bowling Ball Head, a gigantic fish who tries to eat J (and who just has to be related to the subway alien, Jeff), as well as the ubiquitous Worms (who are always abandoning Earth at the moment of truth) and the unsurprising revelation that Lady Gaga is an alien living on Earth. The Daughter: I KNEW IT! Also, one must note the distinctively retro angle they took on the aliens at the 1969 MIB headquarters. Garish colors; flaky pointed heads; and bulky costumes make them look oh so corny. Yet the viewer takes pleasure in this knowing that it was deliberately done and stands in contrast to the sharp sleekness of the contemporary MIB headquarters.

But two new aliens gave us pause by their depth. Griffin, a five dimensional being who can appear any way he wants to in our three dimensions and who views time however he wants to as either spectator or participant is both winning and thought-provoking. Brilliantly played by actor Michael Stuhlbarg, we fell in love with him and his earnest, vaguely creepy comments. The way he viewed time as endlessly branching possibilities that eventually collapse into the “present” we are familiar with, made me remember the importance of seemingly small events and the possibility that they can be significant. He iterates this well when he says something like, “No one is that important to the time line.” Agent J replies that something Griffin assumes is there – isn’t, Griffin amends, “Oh, he’s one of the ones who IS that important.”

But Boris The Animal (“My name is BORIS IT’S JUST BORIS!”) is especially...alien. In a movie full of Humans in costumes, this alien is truly creepy as only an “almost-but-not-exactly-Human-with-unsettling-differences” can be. The Daughter: the worst moment is when his weird “film canister” eyes fall out during his final scene, in order to pull back into his disgusting carcass-esque body. His biology is both bizarre and almost understandable and while his attitude is unrelentingly foul (making him a bit one-dimensional) he is the perfect villain for the MIB. There are even echoes of J’s issue in a scene between Borises – but I’ll leave it to you to figure that out. The movie is rich with allusions and metaphors and perhaps even a parable or two.

While I wouldn’t go so far as to say that MIB3 is the greatest science fiction movie of all time, I would be willing to say that it is one of the Ten Best SF Movies of All Time – and for this critic of SF movies, that’s going WAY out on a limb.

See it. I’m pretty sure you won’t regret it. The Daughter: This is a gross, exciting sci-fi movie that’s for women, too…and not in the same way that say, TRANSFORMERS stuck in a romance in order to please the girlfriends that were dragged along to that movie. It’s just not a silly hack-and-slash/blinking lights film. It’s like…quality.

One final note, even knowing the ending, I actually wept at the end of the movie this time. While I missed it on the Big Screen, this time I saw the emotions flashing over J's face as he realized EXACTLY what K had done...and why. I think it was BRILLIANT and I now elevate MIB III to the Top Five Best SF Movies of All Time.

Image: https://static.rogerebert.com/uploads/movie/movie_poster/men-in-black-iii-2012/large_vQ1E2A5qt0PbRG2SIsIfXWcUHrw.jpg

April 26, 2022

IDEAS ON TUESDAYS 542

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them. Octavia Butler said, “SF doesn’t really mean anything at all, except that if you use science, you should use it correctly, and if you use your imagination to extend it beyond what we already know, you should do that intelligently.”


SF Trope: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AmusingAlien
Current Event: http://meninblack.wikia.com/wiki/Frank_the_Pug

qaPla, who looked like a puggle dog, glanced at his Human handlers and said, “What’dyou think this is, WHEN THE TRIPODS CAME?”

Aradhya Morais shook her head, “Of course not. You’re not funny.”

Heitor Saigal managed to choke back a guffaw as the alien inflated its side-of-body sacks, something they’d come to recognize as his look of indignation.

qaPla said, “I am very funny! Among my birth-moment peers, I am conisdered a real cut off!”

“You mean a ‘cut up’, don’t you?” said Aradhya after she snorted. Heitor was pretty sure she had no idea she did it. It had bugged him during their first months together, but as they’d been matched with qaPla by the command structures of both Humanity and its people.

“Humans have their metaphors, we have ours – only it’s not a metaphor.”

Heitor frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What it says. I am a ‘cut off’. A Big Mistake.” With that, qaPla hurried ahead of them.

Aradhya had said “scuttle” more than once, because the aliens looked more like large crabs than anything else – though they looked like crabs as much as a chimpanzee looked like a Human. She leaned over to Heitor and said, “What do you suppose it means?”

Heitor shrugged, “Its an alien – we’ve only been hanging around each other for four weeks. What do you think it means?”

From around the corner, qaPla bent the tube it used to whistle through and more-or-less speak its oddly accented English-Portugeuse patois and said, “It means exactly what it sounds like. My people sent a wasted life to be the Contact team to you Earth people…”

Names: ♀ India, Brazil; ♂ Brazil, India, Klingon: “qaPla” which is roughly “success” – but this isn’t Star Trek, so it is barely spoken “ri” which means, in Alien language, “a grave mistake”...

April 23, 2022

Slice of PIE: Science Fiction and Fantasy – Evangelistic Literature of Hope and Triumph!


NOT using the Programme Guide of the 2021 World Science Fiction Convention, DisCON III, which I WOULD have been attending in person if I felt safe enough to do so in person AND it hadn’t been changed to the week before the Christmas Holidays…I WILL NOT use the Programme Guide to jump off, jump on, rail against, or shamelessly agree with the BRIEF DESCRIPTION given in the pdf copy of the Program Guide. This explanation is reserved for when I dash “off topic”, sometimes reviewing movies, sometimes reviewing books, and other times taking up the spirit of a blog an old friend of mine used to keep called THE RANTING ROOM…


No matter if you fall into the dystopian, the utopian, or the realist writer’s camp, few people will deny that at one time, science fiction was the evangelistic literature of science, and fantasy was the evangelical literature of the triumph of good over evil.

At one time, science fiction characters solved problems by the dramatic application of science. In fantasy, heroes overcame incredible odds to ultimately triumph over evil. Horror, of course, plumbed the darkest side of human nature and the supernatural, seamlessly illustrating what happened when the two collided.

Not so any more.

Horror leaks into fantasy; fantasy darts into science fiction and the genre itself has broadened to a point where the originals and their clear permutations are now sheltered under the umbrella of Speculative Fiction. (Isn’t ALL fiction speculative? Is that where we’re going?)

And yet…

And yet…

As harbingers of things to come and heralds of good and evil, science fiction and fantasy served clear purposes. The one provided visions of the future that we could mull over, reject or accept and consider implementing. The other gave us clear hope that given great sacrifice, good would triumph over evil. Even the Bible, if taken as simple literature, bears this out over and over.

Science fiction and fantasy, fondly known more briefly as SFF, bore their message both to a very specific slice of America (and sometimes beyond) and shaped technology along the way. How many of today’s scientists and inventors grew up and helped realize the vision of Roddenberry’s STAR TREK? If you watch Motorola’s “DROID” commercials, at the very end you’ll see that the name is courtesy LucasFilms, once owners of the STAR WARS franchise and is now owned by Disney (as well, the initial commercials paid homage to SUPERMAN and 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, too).

My thesis here – which will go undefended at this point and serve only to irritate or get people thinking – is that by scooting under the skirts of “speculative fiction”, both SF and F have lost their purpose. It is a rare instance now to read SFF and come away with a positive vision of the future or a belief that good will triumph over evil.

That’s not what “specfic” is for. Dystopian SF has flooded the YA/Teen market. Fantasy worlds hold neither good nor evil, just people of various fantastic natures muddling about, trying to do…well, usually not right, but stuff so that they don’t get killed themselves.

Instead of being messengers of future hope and the triumph of good over evil, today “specfic” merely seeks to speculate in order to entertain (or grind a particular writer’s axe...but then THAT part hasn’t changed.)

How if we hie back to request those former days – NOT the “Golden Days” of SFF which, besides being schmaltzy, were sexist, racist, and almost any other “ist” you can think of) – rather the days when SFF was the evangelistic literature of future hope and the triumph of good over evil?

Image: https://images.saymedia-content.com/.image/c_limit%2Ccs_srgb%2Cq_auto:eco%2Cw_700/MTc2MjYyNTM5OTM0NTA4MjIy/what-is-speculative-fiction.webp

April 19, 2022

IDEAS ON TUESDAYS 541

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them. Regarding horror, I found this insight in line with WIRED FOR STORY: “We seek out…stories which give us a place to put our fears…Stories that frighten us or unsettle us - not just horror stories, but ones that make us uncomfortable or that strike a chord somewhere deep inside - give us the means to explore the things that scare us…” – Lou Morgan (The Guardian)

H Trope: amusement park goes berserk
Current Event: http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/07/11/us-theme-park-death-idUSTRE76A64O20110711

On a sweltering, record-heat summer day with nothing else to do, fourteen-year-old Wakou Itou and his friends scoot under the fence of the FUN-ON-WHEELS amusement park and have themselves a fun day – mostly by following cute girls, scaring animals and mocking park workers.

Especially one of the clowns at the entrance of the (very) unbusy “Kiddie Land”.

Security chases them away a few times; and once the clown himself gets mad and chases after them, a well-thrown rock from him catches Wakou in the ear. Furious he turns to beat up the clown – and security walks around the corner.

Him and his friends leave the “Kiddie Land” to go to the closed roller coaster, Plunge Of Death. It’s been closed for a month while police and other authorities investigated the death of an Iraq War veteran who plunged from the heights in an as-yet unexplained accident.

Wakou and friends spend half an hour looking for the exact place he hit the ground by looking for blood stains. The sun goes down and the closing of the park is imminent.

“Let’s go kick that stupid clown’s butt,” Wakou exclaims and leads the pack back to “Kiddie Land”. Overhead, there’s a flash of heat lightning and Wakou feels a strange surge of something at the back of his neck. Ahead, the lights of “Kiddie Land” flicker, blaze then fade. Under the arch of lights, the clown is staring at them. His red wig seems to glow…

Names: ♂ Japan
Image: https://cdn.britannica.com/40/11740-004-50816EB1/Boris-Karloff-Frankenstein-monster.jpg

April 16, 2022

Slice of PIE: DISCON III – #7 Wisdom From Editors: (long form) Crighton, Wolfe, Quachri, PLUS Bilmes and Jreije

Using the Programme Guide of the 2021 World Science Fiction Convention, DisCON III, which I WOULD have been attending in person if I felt safe enough to do so in person AND it hadn’t been changed to the week before the Christmas Holidays…I will jump off, jump on, rail against, and shamelessly agree with the BRIEF DESCRIPTION given in the Program Guide. I will be using the events to drive me to distraction or revelation – as the case may be. The link is provided below where this appeared!


Ask An Editor: Long-Form Writing
What makes a good novel? How do you know it’s ready? Where should you send it and how should you respond to comments? This is your chance to ask burning questions to a panel of respected agents and editors.

George Jreije: writer
Katherine Crighton: slush reader for Tor Books
Narah Wolfe: anthology editor, Simon and Schuster, Saga Press, Subterranean Press
Trevor Quachri: Analog (!!!!!)
Joshua Bilmes: (Mod), agent Jabberwocky

I’ll confess my main reason for attending this one was because Trevor Quachri, editor of ANALOG Science Fiction and Fact (where I’ll have placed nine stories in the past quarter century!) was one of the panelists. I’ll arrange this session the way I arranged the last one – I’m going to gather all the comments of each participant into a whole so that we, as writers, can maybe get a sense of how the editors work and how we can work with them when we deal with the long form – novel, novelette, and novella (in the magazines).

Katherine Crighton, slush reader for Tor Books and also writes review of SF/F for Publisher’s Weekly had this to say about writing for her: One thing she looks for in the long form is that there’s an IDEA she wants to follow; an idea that would make it worth her time to pursue. In that story, she has ONE book to give them, so he needs to know immediately, “What is the question I NEED TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO?” She also wants to know what else is the writing saying? She’s trusting the author to really explore the problem. She wants to have a sense of “Tune in NEXT time…” when she stops reading. Then [with mock dismay] says, “Well, there goes another two hours!” She wants to be left THINKING about the piece. When asked, “How do editors read for fun?”, she quipped, “They don’t!” If she reads it all the way through, then she’s enjoying it; so that she can say, “I like this and here’s why.” How does an author even get to the slush pile? “Just send it. Everyone can do that. It’s hard, but if you have something amazing, send it! However, DON’T carry your manuscript with you to something like this.” Last bit of advice: “It’s PEOPLE all the way down. [Editors] know it could be US…”

Narah Wolfe, anthology editor, Simon and Schuster, Saga Press, Subterranean Press had this to say about writing for her: “More than anything, I need a character I want to follow. [When I read a manuscript, I need to feel] “This is incredible! Wonderful! But [as an editor], how can I make it BETTER. Every book has to have a vision. [When working with an author], “They need to be easy to work with. Buying a SERIES is a risk. A stand-alone I can take beyond.” She IS interested in our book, “I WANT to work with you, but the writer needs to be willing to have a frank conversation. The author can’t be adamant about not making changes! Know what you CAN change and what you WANT to change.” She believes that an author needs an agent because hey take the “emotion” out of making a deal. She also suggests that writers read outside of their genre. When she can’t read, she goes back and re-reads books she loves.

Trevor Quachri, editor at the magazine, ANALOG Science Fiction and Fact had this to say about writing for him: “Does the story deliver an idea and then gets out of there?” A stand-alone novel you CAN expand on is the sweet spot of a story. It leans toward being self-contained, but is the “book in the back of their head” or a “Back Door Serial”. A series is different from the “secret novel”. The series has to be self-contained, each part has to be a complete story in itself. Such a serial novel has to have a high readability level, [and at ANALOG] has to have a hard science core, with science appearing on each page. Make sure your novel KEEPS UP THE PACE.

George Jreije, writer had this to say about writing: “Character and voice go hand-in-hand with their internal world-view and how they react.” Also, he believes the cast of characters is important – not just your main character. How do they round him – and each other – out. When looking for an agent, find someone who likes YOUR vision, and if you’re looking to write a series, make sure that each novel IS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE AS A NOVEL!

Joshua Bilmes, moderator and agent Jabberwocky had this to say about writing: The story needs to be the best you can make it! [I expect] great magic in a story, but plot can be fixed. It’s never the best it can be – but the author should know, once they hear the problem, exactly how to fix it. The editor “…will be a pro and we’ll just work together.” “Agent vs Editor are two different kinds of opinions.

So, there we go -- more grist for the mill in order to better target our writing when we send them out into the world!

Program Schedule: https://discon3.org/schedule/
Image: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQY860vAI2izm2g2mUgxzT14fGVmoGh66B51g&usqp=CAU

April 9, 2022

WRITING ADVICE: Creating Alien Aliens, Part 14: The Usual, the Expected, and the Totally Weird

In September of 2007, I started this blog with a bit of writing advice. A little over a year later, I discovered how little I knew about writing after hearing children’s writer, Lin Oliver speak at a convention hosted by the Minnesota Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. Since then, I have shared (with their permission) and applied the writing wisdom of Lin Oliver, Jack McDevitt, Nathan Bransford, Mike Duran, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, SL Veihl, Bruce Bethke, and Julie Czerneda. Together they write in genres broad and deep, and have acted as agents, editors, publishers, columnists, and teachers. Since then, I figured I’ve got enough publications now that I can share some of the things I did “right”.

While I don’t write full-time, nor do I make enough money with my writing to live off of it...neither do all of the professional writers above...someone pays for and publishes ten percent of what I write. When I started this blog, that was NOT true, so I may have reached a point where my own advice is reasonably good. We shall see! Hemingway’s quote above will now remain unchanged as I work to increase my writing output and sales! As always, your comments are welcome!


Part 1: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2020/01/slice-of-pie-creating-alien-aliens.html
Part 2: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2020/02/slice-of-pie-creating-alien-aliens-part.html
Part 3: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2020/02/slice-of-pie-creating-alien-aliens.html
Part 4: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2020/04/slice-of-pie-creating-alien-aliens-part.html
Part 5: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2020/09/writing-advice-creating-alien-aliens.html
Part 6: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2021/02/writing-advice-creating-alien-aliens.html
Part 7: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2021/04/writing-advice-creating-alien-aliens.html
Part 8: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2021/05/writing-advice-creating-alien-aliens.html
Part 9: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2021/08/writing-advice-creating-alien-aliens.html
Part 10: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2021/09/writing-advice-creating-alien-aliens.html
Part 11: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2021/10/writing-advice-creating-alien-aliens.html
Part 12: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2021/12/writing-advice-creating-alien-aliens.html
Part 13: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2022/01/writing-advice-creating-alien-aliens.html

STAR TREK, STAR WARS, BABYLON 5, “ET The Extraterrestrial”, and countless other SciFi movies have created countless “aliens” who are obviously “humans in funny suits”:“But the real problem is not shape, it is mind. ‘Humans in funny suits’ is a well-known term in literary science-fiction fandom, and it does not refer to something with four limbs that walks upright. An angular creature of pure crystal is a ‘human in a funny suit’ if she thinks remarkably like a human - especially a human of an English-speaking culture of the late-20th/early-21st century.” (7/30/2008; Eliezer Yudkowsky, “Humans in Funny Suits”)

So how DO you create a truly alien alien? We probably can’t – at least I can’t! It’s not from lack of trying.

I actually have one alien, the WheetAh whom I’ve tried to bring to life.

In the WheetAh universe stories, Humans and WheetAh are the sole surviving sapients (I used to say “sentient”, but discovered that that only means that a creature has the “power of perception by the senses; conscious”. My cat, my dog, a crow, a turtle…these are all sentient. SAPIENT is a different word and means something entirely different: “having or showing great wisdom/sound judgment, self-awareness, (though literally, it means “to taste, have taste”); hence our species name: Homo sapiens sapiens

I’ve sold one story in this series (you can hear if podcast on CAST OF WONDERS here Part 1: https://www.castofwonders.org/2011/12/episode-20-peanut-butter-and-jellyfish-part-1-by-guy-stewart/, Part 2: https://www.castofwonders.org/2011/12/episode-21-peanut-butter-and-jellyfish-part-2-by-guy-stewart/). But I think my biggest problem is that while the WheetAh LOOK alien, they don’t ACT alien.

As I write this, I’ve started to wonder how a plant-animal sort of creature might behave if it was sapient.

Humans and the WheetAh are automatic antagonists – we call them Weeds, they call us Weasels. We eat plants, and I’m pretty sure the Human psyche would have trouble making the existential leap from “salad” to “dinner companion”.

The WheetAh are similarly handicapped – they’re carnivorous plants, related to the pitcher plant in physiology, but the size of a Saguaro Cactus. They “walk” by spinning. Their everyday life is barely comparable to a Human’s life.

For example, they reached for and attained the stars; but what path did they take to get there? Our launch into space was initially powered by one thing: war. The Chinese had invented gunpowder and fireworks, which they quickly applied to their war-making skills, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fireworks). The science was carried west by Arab businessmen, traders, and leaders. Finally reaching Italy, France, and England, they eventually traveled over the Atlantic to the US. Every civilization on Earth used some form of fireworks…

So, would a plantimal civilization discover fireworks? Well…the Chinese discovered that bamboo, with pockets of air, when tossed into a fire, exploded with an impressive sound. WheetAh would have plenty of plants, so there’d be a good chance that they would discover that, I’ve also invented a few plants that work along the same principal as the Jack Pine, which requires fire for a seed-bearing cone to explode and release its seed.

Gunpowder was discovered and developed by Chinese, though “not their intention to create a weapon of war, Taoist alchemists continued to play a major role in gunpowder development due to their experiments with sulfur and saltpeter involved in searching for eternal life and ways to transmute one material into another.”

So, let’s postulate that the WheetAh discovered gunpowder in THIS way. The development of it would have proceeded along entirely different lines than that taken by Chinese chemists. How would that affect the “world view” regarding gunpowder? Would they have used it for war? Would they have used it to bring greater ‘light’ to the masses? Their biology would determine their use of the invention. Would its use have completely died out? Questions for me to answer.

According to Jared Diamond, in his remarkable book, GUNS, GERMS, AND STEEL, “…Europe’s colonization of Africa had nothing to do with differences between European and African peoples themselves, as white racists assume. Rather, it was due to accidents of geography and biogeography—in particular, to the continents’ different areas, axes, and suites of wild plant and animal species. That is, the different historical trajectories of Africa and Europe stem ultimately from differences in real estate.”

Perhaps the most fascinating part of Diamond’s book, is that the sole reason horses became an indelible part of Human history is that they WERE domesticable. For example, zebras, while they look like striped horses, are non-domesticable. It’s been tried many times. Boar are not domesticable. Tigers and buffalo are impossible. There’s no such thing as a domesticated elephant, either. Elephants CHOOSE to work with certain people… What if Wheet had more domesticable animals than Earth? How might that have created a WheetAh history radically different from Human history?

Would WheetAh have developed crop plants, or would their society have shaped itself around the altering of PLANTS rather than animals? Take the internal combustion engine – it changed life on Earth…but what is the power of the engine measured in? HORSE-power. How would the masterful manipulation of plants altered WheetAh society? How would it have it affected their technology, and subsequently, how would their technology changed their view of their world?

Ultimately, would Humans and WheetAh have any common ground? How would a society of mobile plantimals govern itself? What would WheetAh LAW look like? What of WheetAh “child-rearing”…would that phrase even make any sense, or would it be as alien to them as their culturing of small mammals as delicacies would feel to us (though most of us don’t seem to mind when a dog eats a rabbit…and white Humans hunted the buffalo to near extinction. Which brings up another point, would there be “races” of WheetAh? Would the word have any meaning at all to them? (I HAVE created a mountainous sub-species of WheetAh called the ruuyAh, smaller, faster, quieter that the standard WheetAh…and I haven’t even BEGUN to explore their culture! I only know that the larger WheetAh look down on the ruuyAh as the “lesser” people.

So, my problem with most of the stories I’ve tried to write about WheetAh/Human have got them thinking just like we do, only with a plantimal brain.

Hmmm…I “may” have a lot of work to do. Maybe then I can finally get my story, “By Law and Custom” off the ground…especially when I look at the “customs” of two sentients from entirely different Kingdoms…

Source: https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/Zkzzjg3h7hW5Z36hK/humans-in-funny-suits, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_gunpowder#:~:text=the%20Song%20dynasty-,Gunpowder%20formula,substance%20with%20gunpowder%2Dlike%20properties., https://ssec.si.edu/stemvisions-blog/evolution-fireworks
Image: https://aliens.fandom.com/wiki/Zistle?file=Wikipicedit.jpg

April 5, 2022

IDEAS ON TUESDAYS 540

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them. Regarding Fantasy, this insight was startling: “I see the fantasy genre as an ever-shifting metaphor for life in this world, an innocuous medium that allows the author to examine difficult, even controversial, subjects with impunity. Honor, religion, politics, nobility, integrity, greed—we’ve an endless list of ideals to be dissected and explored. And maybe learned from.” – Melissa McPhail.


F Trope: black magic
Current Event: “In many popular video games, such as Final Fantasy, white and black magic is simply used to distinguish between healing/defensive spells (such as a "cure") and offensive/elemental spells (such as "fire") respectively, and does not carry an inherent good or evil connotation.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_magic)

Pastor Kim Dong Shik made a face and said, “I don’t dislike the game. I dislike the redefinition.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” said Martin Caine. A couple other boys from the youth group stood behind him, nodding.

Pastor Kim took a breath, but Trevor Mena cut him off, “You sure you’re not just trying to get us to stop playing a game you think is evil or something dumb like that?”

The pastor bit his lower lip for a moment then said, “Define ‘black magic’ for me.”

The third boy, Aagaard Zorilla said, “That’s easy – black magic is what you use to defend your characters from attack.”

“As opposed to what kind of magic?”

“White magic, of course!” said Trevor.

“Yeah, when you want to attack, you use black magic.”

“Or if you want to summon any of the elementals like earth, air, fire or water.”

Pastor Kim nodded. “So do you think that’s been the definition all along?”

All three boys looked puzzled. Finally Aagaard said, “That’s always been the definition I’ve used.”

“Care to hear a more…historical definition?”

All three rolled their eyes.

Pastor Kim laughed and nodded, saying, “Oh, I get it! Anything that’s older than you isn’t important anymore!” Even though Trevor and Aagaard laughed, Martin found himself stepping back. Pastor Kim smiled sadly then said, “So you don’t think I’m important anymore?”

The smile on the faces of two of the boys disappeared. Martin’s grew as he said, “Too bad you’re one of the only ones who noticed.” His voice had dropped an octave and his skin, instead of flushing red like a blush, was flushing black as if the toxins from pasturella pestis had flooded his blood vessels.

The pastor’s eyes bugged a bit, but Martin made a face. The old-fashioned “holy man” was supposed to run away, terrified of the spell the mage had cast over Martin a few weeks ago. The mage – a college professor Martin had heard speak at his sister’s college one night – had assured him that old-fashioned christianity wasn’t relevant, let alone imbued with the kind of power mages controlled.

When Martin had mentioned his pastor was pretty cool, the professor had laughed and asked if he wanted to be truly empowered – granted power great enough to make any old christian drop to their knees in quaking fear. Martin had shrugged and said, “Sure.”

At the moment, his chest swelled and he felt taller than he’d ever felt before. He seemed to be able to look over Aagaard and Trevor and down on Pastor Kim.

But instead of cowering, Pastor Kim…

Names: ♂ South Korean, American, Uruguayan
Image:
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/98/71/e5/9871e52bbc09c525af21b8f6471eab15.jpg

April 2, 2022

WRITING ADVICE: Short Stories – Advice and Observation #15: Douglas Adams “& Me”

In this feature, I’ll be looking at “advice” for writing short stories – not from me, but from other short story writers. In speculative fiction, “short” has very carefully delineated categories: “The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America specifies word lengths for each category of its Nebula award categories by word count; Novel 40,000 words or over; Novella 17,500 to 39,999 words; Novelette 7,500 to 17,499 words; Short story under 7,500 words.”

I’m going to use advice from people who, in addition to writing novels, have also spent plenty of time “interning” with short stories. While most of them are speculative fiction writers, I’ll also be looking at plain, old, effective short story writers. The advice will be in the form of one or several quotes off of which I’ll jump and connect it with my own writing experience. While I don’t write full-time, nor do I make enough money with my writing to live off of it...neither do most of the professional writers...someone pays for and publishes ten percent of what I write. When I started this blog, that was NOT true, so I may have reached a point where my own advice is reasonably good. We shall see! Hemingway’s quote above will now remain unchanged as I work to increase my writing output and sales! As always, your comments are welcome!

Without further ado, short story observations by Douglas Adams – with a few from myself…


10 Tips For Writers From Douglas Adams

1. Choose your sources with care. ‘All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.’ Not exactly sure what this means, but my SF is based on as current real science as I can make it. That’s NOT to say I don’t twist it around to fit my needs. I’m pretty sure Adams tweaked the science to invent the Improbability Drive…

2. Trust the process. ‘I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.’ (The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul). Funny, I’ve started to write that way more and more in the past few months. I start with what I call a “circle” plot, just an event -> event -> event ->event…etc. Then I curve it around a sheet of paper to squeeze it down as tight as I can. That’s usually the “bones” of a story, but it usually doesn’t survive very long. The characters take over and like a story I just finished called (currently) “Patch”, it really didn’t end up where I thought I did, but like Adams says, “I ended up where I needed to be.”

3. Change your perspective. ‘He was constantly reminded of how startlingly different a place the world was when viewed from a point only three feet to the left.’ (The Salmon of Doubt) I have a story originally called “May They Rest”; changed to “By Custom and Law”; and now I realize I may have the WRONG VIEWPOINT CHARACTER…so that one is waiting in the wings to be completely re-written.

4. Look for ideas in irritating things. ‘So where do the ideas actually come from? Mostly from getting annoyed about things. Not big issues so much … as the little irritations that drive you wild out of all proportion.’ (The Frood: The Authorised and Very Official History of Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) Only one short statement here: The name of my blog is, of course POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAYS!

5. Observe everything all the time. ‘They were not the same eyes with which he had last looked out at this particular scene, and the brain which interpreted the images the eyes resolved was not the same brain. There had been no surgery involved, just the continual wrenching of experience.’ (So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish) I wrote a story about an abandoned building I’d been driving past for 20 years. Made of corrugated steel, MADNEDVILLE MEATS: Equipment & Supplies was easily visible from the frontage road along a major interstate. For some reason, it inspired in me some kind of macabre ideas…

6. Make your writing user-friendly. ‘If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else.’ (Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency) That’s what I try to do! However, I wrote a short-short piece that the editor got enough to buy it…and then I proceeded to field questions about what it was supposed to be about for months thereafter. I still have a document with my explanation in it on file! So at least once, I did NOT make the story user-friendly…

7. Push your boundaries. ‘Let’s think the unthinkable, let’s do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.’ (Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency) Oddly, “Patch” allowed me to do something I’ve never done – dialogue the way the CHARACTER would speak. The character is an angry, criminal, post-adolescent who (like most Army folk) is inordinately fond of a particular vulgar word. I’ve avoided using the word in my characters ever since I started writing, but it’s how this young adult would speak. HOWEVER, I have him use the word a dozen or so times until another character asks him if he knows what “vulgar” means. The character replies, “_____ cussing!” The other gives him the real definition of “vulgar”, and as the story continues, the post-adolescent uses the word less and less as his character grows. I don’t think I “effed it”…

8. All writers procrastinate. ‘I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.’ (The Salmon of Doubt) I know that one! I find myself looking at the news from BBC-online, FB, Twitter, emails…as much as I can. But I DO recognize that they’re time sinks (just as much as me getting off-track in my research!) Because it’s not as critical now that I’m retired, I don’t worry as much. When I had a 40+ hour a week job, I was ruthless. I’ve never had a writing deadline (OK, I have, but never for a piece of fiction…)

9. Create a world and create conflict. “The story so far: ‘In the beginning the Universe was created’. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe) Actually, I rather like it as a beginning and think things have been going along, while not nicely, but progressively, supposedly from bad to better. It’s the ending that seems to have everyone in a tizzy of late. But I’m one to just let the story go on. If I leave the visible storyline before it’s over, then so be it. In my writing, I ALWAYS have conflict of some sort. GETTING TO THE CONFLICT is sometimes a challenge for me because I love the worlds I create and assume everyone else does, too…I like it because my worlds show to me how incredibly brilliant I am!

10. Do your research. ‘I’d take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.’ (The Salmon of Doubt) I’d have to agree. I’ve been an educator my entire life, both professionally and by my nature. I LOVE to explain stuff! I love to do the research to find out HOW stuff works. I love when other people don’t understand new stuff and are just puttering along, making up things that explain what’s happening! Then I can poke around their theory and see what it says and how it impacts my life and how it MIGHT impact the lives of my characters.

References: https://www.writerswrite.co.za/10-tips-for-writers-from-douglas-adams/?fbclid=IwAR13h3X417m8rt3iX86dPckjR5wRKirhjTURNEYY3-ZJ40nid57QpCFFuXU
Image: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhK6miXJMTMNyB3kzq-r6I2LVCTZJj0CDS0dPV2Qapl6e9rZPuHx2u5QKcKT1QGeDg1_tPMv-lpnuSr_eiBjwPXmex9mcgtuH2-SUtZEpGWV0_HdtJQelVt5K69NulJBUqNju5GNjHgQibXsIo4NeWpTOj4ai85jCRjMHOtwtkqshzxFvZPUSjXZNq6=s320