A PARAMEDIC'S SHOUT by Josh Stewart

(This guest spot today is provided with the permission of my son, Josh, who is in his last eight weeks of paramedic Core training.)

I would never leave the Core. Ever.

I have been hit, punched, kicked, puked on and peed on.

I have watched people older than you and younger than Mary die.

I have missed things that have come closer to killing people than I ever want to remember.

I have lost sleep, friends, weight, money and hope in ways I can never get back.

I have seen what happens when the twinkle of life disappears from someone’s eye.

But the sad part is that I would not give it up for the world.

I have never tried this hard, fallen this far or failed this much – ever. I never will again.

But in all this shit, I have learned who my real friends are, grown in ways people my age shouldn’t have to and learned the true value of life.

And to tell you the truth, I could never come back from what I’ve become.

The changes will last forever.

I think that if I fail, I’ll get up and try again because I could not imagine doing anything else.

The only way I’ll leave the Core is in failure – and then I will find the money and do it again because

I AM A PARAMEDIC.

I may be expendable, but what I do needs to be done and if I don’t do it, I will never feel complete.