(This guest spot today is provided with the permission of my son, Josh, who is in his last eight weeks of paramedic Core training.)
I would never leave the Core. Ever.
I have been hit, punched, kicked, puked on and peed on.
I have watched people older than you and younger than Mary die.
I have missed things that have come closer to killing people than I ever want to remember.
I have lost sleep, friends, weight, money and hope in ways I can never get back.
I have seen what happens when the twinkle of life disappears from someone’s eye.
But the sad part is that I would not give it up for the world.
I have never tried this hard, fallen this far or failed this much – ever. I never will again.
But in all this shit, I have learned who my real friends are, grown in ways people my age shouldn’t have to and learned the true value of life.
And to tell you the truth, I could never come back from what I’ve become.
The changes will last forever.
I think that if I fail, I’ll get up and try again because I could not imagine doing anything else.
The only way I’ll leave the Core is in failure – and then I will find the money and do it again because
I AM A PARAMEDIC.
I may be expendable, but what I do needs to be done and if I don’t do it, I will never feel complete.