In September of 2007, I started this blog
with a bit of writing advice. A little over a year later, I discovered how
little I knew about writing after hearing children’s writer, In April of 2014,
I figured I’d gotten enough publications that I could share some of the things
I did “right”. I’ll keep that up, but I’m running out of pro-published stories.
I don’t write full-time, nor do I make enough money with my writing to live off
of it, but someone pays for and publishes ten percent of what I write.
Hemingway’s quote above will remain unchanged as I work to increase my writing
output and sales, but I’m adding this new series of posts because I want to
carefully look at what I’ve done WRONG and see if I can fix it. As always, your
comments are welcome!
ANALOG Tag Line: What if unicorns were real?
Elevator Pitch (What Did I Think I Was Trying To Say?): If unicorns
actually existed at one time, what would we do if that history was actually
protected information of Aboriginal peoples everywhere?
Opening Line: “Tierra Land had seen the images a thousand
times, but never live.”
Onward: From there, my main character meets a
handsome stranger – he shows her his painting, they go on a date and agree to
write a paper together. Pretty simple. Some might say, “Where’s the rest of the
story?”
What Was I Trying
To Say? That there are
things we think we know, “There’s no such thing as a REAL unicorn!” when the
fact is that science and scientists don’t know everything – and that there
will, in fact be some things that we can’t know.
While saying that
there are things we might never know seems antithetical to the definition: “a
systematic enterprise that builds and organizes knowledge in the form of
testable explanations and predictions about the universe” (Wikipedia) nowhere
does it mention infallibility – and no scientist anywhere can say with
certainty that the science of ANYTHING is settled. It was once settled that the
speed of light was a constant and a mathematical symbol created for it – as in
E=mc2 (where c is a constant representing 300,000,000 m/s), but it’s
just as well known today that the speed of light is not always constant… https://www.sciencenews.org/article/speed-light-not-so-constant-after-all.
The definition above
absolutely intends to mean the first definition of “enterprise” – which is “a
project or undertaking, typically one that is difficult or requires effort”, but
the authors also noticed the second definition: “a business or company”, which
is ALSO what science is; and what the current commander-in-chief has some
experience in dealing with…
The Rest of the
Story: It’s a short-short, a
bit over two thousand words long. Too long for flash, but short enough to say
what I wanted to say – without going on to have them involved in some kind of
intrigue, love drawing them together and making it into a 10,000 word novella.
It’s not what I was interested in doing. I just wanted to pose an interesting
thought, sketch an image, and have something interesting happen. Could I pad
it? Sure! But that’s not what I set out to do…
End Analysis: I still like this story, though I thought
of two changes I could make: first, I’m going to move sentence from early on
page 2 and make it the first sentence. It will set up the story better.
Secondly, I’ll give a clearer description of the unicorn in the main character’s
painting.
Can This Story Be
Saved? Yup. In fact, I’ll make the changes above
today, and send it out afterward!
Rejection 1: 1/30/17
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