POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAYS: Will Aliens Have A Sense of Humor We Can Understand?

On October 7, 2007, I started this blog. Seventeen years later, I am revising and doing some different things with my blog. My wife and I are now retired senior citizens, our kids are both married, we have a bonus daughter and her wife and we have three grandchildren, the oldest of which just became a teenager. I have forty-five professional publications, plus countless other publications as a slushpile reader, and sometime essay contributor to Stupefying Stories https://stupefyingstories.blogspot.com/.

These days, I write whenever I want to – or when I’m not busy exploring the world with my wife or kids or grandkids. I write and read constantly. Then I discovered that I was writing longer and longer pieces. My new focus is to write shorter; and to write HUMOR. On purpose. Maybe I can still irritate people while being funny. It works pretty well for John Scalzi! We’ll see what happens.

I think our sense of humor makes us Human…and that ALL OF US play with language in order to make ourselves laugh. Take for example the silly words we create.

HOBBIT: The vast majority of those of you reading this know that this word is a pronoun denoting a very specific imaginary being as depicted in JRR Tolkien’s LORD OF THE RINGS novels. He invented the word.

NARNIA: A large number of you know that this is a proper noun attached to an imaginary land found in the works of English author, C. S. Lewis. He invented the word.

PERN: Many of you know that this is an acronym from an interplanetary survey done by a future Humanity imagined by Anne McCaffrey. It stands for Parallel Earth Resources Negligible. For some of us, that abbreviation explodes into memories of a world colonized by Humans seeking a simpler, agrarian existence on an alien world inhabited by nothing that seemed capable of harming us. Fate of course constantly surprises – and Pern was a cyclical victim of an alien plague that jumped from an eccentrically orbiting moon. Humans had to bioengineer a creature to combat these “threads”. From tiny, harmless flying lizards who could also teleport themselves when face with grave danger; Humans gengineered telepathic dragons…

FOIPIARGNAAADI: None of you will recognize this as a word meaning something like “the humorous power of made up words”. That’s because some years ago, myself, my wife and four young adults (two of them related to us, two of them not) invented it one night playing an impromptu game of SCRABBLE®. We even invented a grammar: the triple “a” pluralizes the word and the suffix “di” feminizes the noun. Why did we do this then conclude the game with gales of laughter?

I think it’s because on Earth, language (and the humor it creates) is innate and perhaps even unique to Humans. Don’t get me wrong. Every living thing communicates. There are levels of communication as well. Few people would question that flax plants and flatworms communicate differently than orcas and octopi.

There is good evidence that certain animals have a sense of humor: Dogs, meerkats and rats laugh…chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas and orangutans do, too. Chimpanzees and bonobos, our closest relatives, have the most human-like laughter. The Dogs of Spokane laugh, as do ravens and dolphins – at least provisionally. However, I think I’m safe in saying that two adult chimpanzees with four young adult chimpanzees in a safe environment at a Primate Research Center somewhere; would be unlikely to make up a word, create a simple grammar then find the whole thing amusing.

I contend that it is the “spark of the divine” in us that gives Humans the ability to use language of extreme complexity. In the Bible, Numbers 22 tells the tale of a man who was beating his donkey who had refused to walk past an angel because it recognized that the angel was about to kill the man. The man’s name was Balaam. In the end, the angel granted the donkey the ability to speak to the man. Even the rankest “animals-are-the-same-as-humans” activist and those who believe that animals deserve all the protection granted humans under law, would find it hard to credit this story as fact. At best, I could muster up enough BELIEF to grant that it might be possible. Even so, when talking about having a sense of humor, there are more complex ways to communicate and simpler ways to communicate.

Humor is communication at its most complex and least understood. “What makes us special is the range and amount of laughter we seek and produce, which in large part stems from our unique evolution, as well as our culture. Indeed, as Martin writes: ‘…being able to enjoy humor and express it through laughter seems to be an essential part of what it means to be human.’” (SURVIVAL OF THE FUNNIEST)

It is the complexity of humor that separates us from the animals. While it’s been said that “a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.” (The Infinite Monkey Theorem:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinite_monkey_theorem ), the same article goes on to explain that the obvious meaning isn’t the significant meaning of this statement. Monkeys aren’t going to write “Much Ado About Nothing” because monkeys aren’t Human. I suppose, though that it might be that monkeys would write a MONKEY equivalent of “Much Ado About Nothing” – but would a Human find it funny?

If or when we meet sapient aliens, will we be able to share a sense of Humor? I suppose that the family of STAR TREK aliens might be able to. Supposedly Humans, Cardassians, and Klingons – and at the end of the episode, Romulans, implying that Vulcans, Ferengi, Bajorans, Tellarites, Andorians, and all other Humanoids in and near the Federation are descended from a single race of sapient aliens who “seeded our” part of the galaxy with their DNA. [“…the 20th episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation’s sixth season, “The Chase,” in which Picard and crew discover pieces of a computer program hidden inside the DNA of species from dozens of different planets.”]

It makes sense that Klingons and Humans can laugh together; certainly that Cardassians and Humans can forge relationships based on humor, and while Vulcans and Humans don’t “laugh together” per se, they can certainly share a sense of humor.

All this to say that we play with language in order to make ourselves laugh. It MAY be possible, but unlikely that Humans and aliens can EVER share a laugh, though I suppose they MAY share some sort of alcoholic (or its metabolic equivalent) beverage that would ease relationship tensions.

I am working at being able to WRITE funny for my fellow Humans – whose to say that an alien wouldn’t find my writing funny?

Sources: https://english.elpais.com/science-tech/2023-07-29/do-animals-have-a-sense-of-humor-this-scientist-has-been-tickling-rats-for-years-to-prove-it.html, https://exploringyourmind.com/do-animals-have-a-sense-of-humor-science-says-yes/, https://www.smallanimalplanet.com/the-science-behind-animal-laughter-do-animals-have-a-sense-of-humor/, Survival of the Funniest: A review of Rod Martin, Psychology of Humor: An Integrative Approach https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/147470490800600111
Image: https://static1.cbrimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/resident-alien-harry-and-joseph-laughing.jpg

IDEAS ON TUESDAY 652

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them? Regarding Fantasy, this insight was startling: “I see the fantasy genre as an ever-shifting metaphor for life in this world, an innocuous medium that allows the author to examine difficult, even controversial, subjects with impunity. Honor, religion, politics, nobility, integrity, greed—we’ve an endless list of ideals to be dissected and explored. And maybe learned from.” – Melissa McPhail.

Fantasy Trope: Magical Realism (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MagicRealism?from=Main.MagicalRealism)
Current Event: http://www.shockmansion.com/2014/11/19/video-real-life-magic-carpet-ride-canopy-flyer-surfs-on-the-back-of-a-wingsuit-flyer-in-norway/

Filip Møller took a deep breath and held out his arms to catch the wind roaring up the jutting spike of stone called Trolltunga as it jutted over a branch of Hardangerfjord in western Norway. It would the jump of his life and make him the youngest boy to do it. His guardian had signed off, the law had been called, and on his thirteenth birthday, Filip would do what he’d dreamed of doing.

Jakob Sjöman was Filip’s best friend and figured it would have been better for him to wear a diaper than have skipped eating for the past week. At least he wouldn’t be trying to crap his pants with nothing in his stomach. Instead, the cramps wouldn’t leave him alone. He KNEW Filip wasn’t trying to kill him. He KNEW he was eighteen and legally capable of signing his life away as Filip’s guardian, but this was crazy! There had to be an easier way to let someone know...

Filip shouted, “This is it! Let’s go!” He ran and leaped from Trolltunga jutting out into nothingness.

Jakob closed his eyes, took a breath, nearly puked his empty stomach out and ended up only gagging, then ran at the cliff edge. He closed his eyes when he reached the point where his father shouted, “Jump!” He did and fell into nothingness.

He might have passed out if he didn’t hear Filip scream just then. Jakob’s eyes flew open behind the goggles in time to see his “little brother” disappear into a roiling gray cloud. “What’s wrong?” he asked the wind roaring past his face at a hundred and sixty km/hour. “Slapping my face, more like,” he said, tipping the wingsuit a fraction to follow Filip. The cloud was wet, exactly like fog. “If fog moved instead of just sitting there.” He shot free of the cloud and started. There was no water beneath them. Instead, pine trees marched endlessly to all the horizons. What was going on?

Filip slowed until they were flying side-by-side. “Where are we?” he shouted.

At least that’s what Jakob thought he shouted. He pointed down with his chin. No point talking up here. Landing was the only way they could do anything. Still horrified by the whole thing, he also didn’t want to die doing this. He’d worked harder at the training that Filip had – the kid was crazy when it came to jumping, but he had a pretty normal thirteen-year-old’s sense of reality. He figured he could do anything. After the car crash that killed his mom, Jakob was absolutely certain there was nothing HE could do about anything except push it all back and figure whatever happened, happened.

The ground was rushing toward them. It was close to the time to deploy the chute. That was when he saw the airfield. Beside it were open fields, just starting to turn gold at this time of year. He jerked his chin toward them and Filip tweaked his flight so that he was alongside but a ways away. Jakob frowned. Were those bleachers alongside the fields? As they swooped lower and lower, they roared over a small town as they yanked the ripcords of the parachutes in unison. They billowed out overhead and before they knew it, they were running as they glided into a landing.

Of course, Filip landed without a hitch. Jakob tripped over his feet and fell, rolling as a gust of wind ballooned the parachute and dragged him along for several moment until he was hopelessly tangled. By the time the laughing Filip had released him a crowd of people stood around them.

Jakob, trying to regain some sense of dignity, stepped up to the person closest to him and said, “Where are we?”

The older woman said, “Jeg snakker ikke norsk.”

He switched to English, which he could speak, though badly, “You speak that...”

She laughed and said, “Min norsk er veldig rusten.”

“What?”

Filip elbowed him and said in Norwegian, “It’s an American idiom.” Then he turned to the woman and said in English, “My friend doesn’t speak English very well, either. Forgive him. My name is Filip...um...” his self-assurance suddenly deflated as he said, “Where are we?”

Names: ♂ Norway, Denmark ; ♂ Norway, Sweden

Image: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/98/71/e5/9871e52bbc09c525af21b8f6471eab15.jpg

POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAYS: Time Travel and Reconciliation With Dad...

NOT using the panel discussions of the most recent World Science Fiction Convention 2024 in Glasgow, Scotland, I would jump off, jump on, rail against, and shamelessly agree with the BRIEF DESCRIPTION given in the pdf copy of the Program Guide. But not today. This explanation is reserved for when I dash “off topic”, sometimes reviewing movies, sometimes reviewing books, and other times taking up the spirit of a blog an old friend of mine used to keep called THE RANTING ROOM…

I’m a sucker for a movie or book that’s all about reconciliation – The Jane Austen movies are about reconciliation of broken relationships (They’re romances, too, but that’s beside the point). STAR TREK: Wrath of Khan is about reconciliation between Kirk and his son David. Dad introduced me to STAR TREK in the late 60s, and watching the shows with him, and eventually my wife and kids, was a foundational event that led me to me pursuing my writing.

Even the goofy Lego Movie has a father-son reconciliation at the end (Oddly, there are NO images of them hugging at the end...sad, that.)

The first movie mom and dad brought us to see was the original MARY POPPINS. We saw it at the Terrace Theater in Robbinsdale, the city Mom grew up in. At the very end, Mr. Banks reconciles with his kids, dumping the “bank life” for flying a kite with Jane and Michael. The author of the Mary Poppins books, PL Travers, in the movie, SAVING MR. BANKS, argues that her book was NOT about Mary Poppins or the children -- but saving Mr. Banks, who was based on her own FATHER. 

I’ve been reflecting lately about WHY reconciliation movies and books are so important to me. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a sort of odd duck in the family. Dad played football and basketball (in the day when players who were 6’1” were tall, he was STILL short!). My brothers and sister played sports all through high school and beyond. Even mom was a member of the Robbinsdale Girl’s Athletic Club – tennis, badminton, and even fencing.

I didn’t do sports. I read. I wrote. I played guitar. I went to a very religious college and then went touring in Minnesota, North and South Dakota, Iowa, Wisconsin and eventually West Africa with two different church bands. I went to Moorhead State University and worked most of my summers at Bible camps.

I wasn’t home a lot because, frankly, I didn’t feel like I belonged.

Then I got older and wiser, got married, then Josh and Mary were born, and then Alzheimer’s touched our lives. After Mom passed, it just seemed to get worse, but I started to spend more time with Dad. Oddly, I started to feel closer to him as we did more and more things together – like watching NASCAR racing, going to restaurants after doctor or dentist visits, or going to The Lookout just because. Our lives began to twine together like they never had when I was younger. We would talk, sometimes just sit together, or go to an event at SilverCreek and enjoy ourselves. In the end, I felt reconciled – I felt like Dad was part of my life again and that I was part of his. Maybe that’s why the movies like Sing, Back To The Future, FINDING NEMO, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY (Part 2); MEN IN BLACK 4; and yesterday, THE ADAM PROJECT -- all mean so much to me. All of them are about reconciliation; about joining BACK together after a time of separation.

I cried at those movies when I first saw them. In fact, if it's been a while, they STILL make me weep...

A few days ago, me and my wife were rewatching THE ADAM PROJECT for the hundredth time. Basic idea was Dad (Mark Ruffalo) wrote an algorithm for controlled time travel -- alienating his 12-year-old son, Adam. He's angry at losing him BEFORE he died, and grows up into an angry, reckless adult who IS capable of loving a woman. In the end, both "boys" reconcile with their father, playing catch in their back yard as they all return to their anchor present...the young Adam makes changes that change his older self. I suppose it's a sort of "substitutionary" healing. The thing is that, as I've continued to be touched by these movies, I've never tried to write a story like them about ME. What am I afraid of -- releasing my anger? Am I holding on to my pain. Maybe it's finally time to release my pain; maybe start to heal my own heart...

Now all that's left is for me to create a character who mirrors my OWN life and write his story...

Image: https://66.media.tumblr.com/978ec6405dc64d4a8ec98381fadfbb7b/tumblr_naz7eoI5n71tch951o8_400.jpg, https://i.pinimg.com/originals/5f/6a/36/5f6a36cd34703eb8bf0d1e4d59660965.jpg, http://cinemagogue.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/1393260444000-Ferrell-lego-3.jpg

IDEAS ON TUESDAYS 651

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them. Octavia Butler said, “SF doesn’t really mean anything at all, except that if you use science, you should use it correctly, and if you use your imagination to extend it beyond what we already know, you should do that intelligently.”

SF Trope: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ForWantOfANail
Sparking Event: http://www.breitbart.com/video/2014/11/15/maher-if-obama-had-lost-us-wouldnt-have-fruit-or-jobs/
And A Prompt From My Niece-In-Law: wool, celery, parallel universe, dynamite, fireman’s ball, fishing tackle.

Jose Taylor-Perez shrugged his shoulders, settling his wool sweater more comfortably. “You eat that and it’ll be like someone lit a stick a dynamite and shoved it up your…”

Emily Patel-Kelly tossed the celery stick at him then punched Jose in the shoulder, “If you weren’t my best friend, that would have been hard enough to knock the humerus out of the ball park.” She snickered, “Not that anything short of a wrecking ball would be able to knock any of your face bones free of that fishing tackle in your mouth.”

“Hey! No fair! I can’t do anything about braces!” he said, shaking his head, “Besides, your premed jokes are only funny to you…added to that, you won’t even be able to BE premed until at the earliest your junior year.”

Ignoring the frustrating fact that she couldn’t start college until she could do College In The Schools, she said, “Like I can do anything about a celery allergy?” She lifted her chin, “Besides, I don’t exactly have a standard reaction to it.”

“You can say that again,” he said as he fiddled with his transparent computer tablet where it hovered over his lap. “You’re the only person I know that can use a V8 Harvest and Strawberry Smoothie as a gateway to a parallel universe.”

She shook her head, “I wish I could see into the universe where I passed this history final with flying colors.”

“That’s for sure,” said Jose. “I’ll never remember who came after President McCain.”

“Don’t be such a sexist – President Palin took over after McCain had his coronary two years after he got elected.”

“Right, the first lady...”

“No, it was the First Husband Todd…” she said, adding a smirk.

“I was gonna say, ‘President’.”

Shaking her head, Emily hunched over her own transparent tablet, setting it to project a holographic screen in front of her. Walking her fingers through a manipulation panel, she absentmindedly picked up a celery stick and shoved it into her mouth. After her eyes grew wide, she muttered, “Oh, crap...”

“What’s wrong?” Jose asked. Her tablet began to glow then flames flickered around the edges as she tried to shove the instrument away from her. “You ate the celery!” He exclaimed. “Why did you do that?”

“I wasn’t thinking! I was playing around with tensor calculus…”

“And you opened a door into a parallel universe!” Jose shouted as the fire alarms went off and a robot fireman’s ball floated out from its nook and began to sprout nozzles. “Now we’re gonna…”

An explosion cut him off…

Names: ♀US(California); ♂ US(New York)
Image: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e1/Falcon_9_Demo-2_Launching_6_%283%29.jpg/220px-Falcon_9_Demo-2_Launching_6_%283%29.jpg

WRITING ADVICE: Analyzing What Went Into EMERALD OF EARTH *** THIS IS LONG. I KNOW. I ASK YOU TO READ IT...***

In September of 2007, I started this blog with a bit of writing advice. A little over a year later, I discovered how little I knew about writing after hearing children’s writer, Lin Oliver speak at a convention hosted by the Minnesota Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. Since then, I have shared (with their permission) and applied the writing wisdom of Lin Oliver, Jack McDevitt, Nathan Bransford, Mike Duran, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, SL Veihl, Bruce Bethke, and Julie Czerneda. Together they write in genres broad and deep, and have acted as agents, editors, publishers, columnists, and teachers. Since then, I figured I’ve got enough publications now that I can share some of the things I did “right” and I’m busy sharing that with you.

While I don’t write full-time, nor do I make enough money with my writing to live off of it, though someone pays for and publishes ten percent of what I write. When I started this blog, that was NOT true, so I may have reached a point where my own advice is reasonably good. We shall see!

As my kids and wife will attest, I started EMERALD OF EARTH twenty-one years ago in response to the wave of dystopian science fiction aimed at young adults. Of COURSE there has always been "dark" science fiction -- HG Wells' WAR OF THE WORLDS springs to mind!

In fact, I was really and truly hooked on science fiction by the grim future in John Christopher’s THE WHITE MOUNTAINS books. Lois Lowry’s THE GIVER came when I was in high school, and Margaret Atwood’s THE HANDMAID’S TALE rose to the top NOT as teen lit, but as subversive science fiction – not for teens, but for adults who were looking for MORE after rereading the HARRY POTTER fantasies a dozen times.

Then came the deluge of the “book-to-movie” best sellers like THE HUNGER GAMES and MAZE RUNNER following on the heels of what I think of as “teen carnage” novels where, like the Harry Potter series after GOBLET OF FIRE with teens slaughtering each other and being slaughtered by evil adults became normal for YA fiction. Because while they were ostensibly for teens and YA, adults were reading them in DROVES.

There’s been some serious research on this as well: “Why Do Adults Read Young Adult Novels?" Monica Hay, Fellow at Portland State University0 Department of English wrote “Book industries and trade, Publishers and publishing, Young adult literature” (from the abstract): “Young adult books are widely read by adults. Through interviews with publishing professionals and a survey of 2,139 participants, several reasons were discovered regarding why adults read young adult literature.

“In the research, the most common reasons were the influence of Harry Potter and Twilight, the relatability for millennials, the social media presence of YA online, and the success of women writers in the category. Survey participants had more to add. The survey themes were nostalgia, ‘less pretentious,’ ‘faster reads,’ diversity, escapism, ‘less graphic,’ and perhaps most importantly, hopeful.”

So I started to look at a DIFFERENT future than the doom-and-gloom presented by some of the books that adults and kids appeared to be reading.

What if Humanity launched into a serious exploration of the Solar System and it wasn’t just with soldiers and old people? What if the future included young people? The ones would would spend a long time living in space?

I was compelled to give my novel a title that would draw in YA readers expecting carnage in their reading. I changed it to EMERALD OF EARTH: HEIRS OF THE SHATTERED SPHERES, with the intent of writing a series. And I WILL if sales of the first book go well. came out in March 2024, and while sales haven’t been stellar, I’m doing things like this to boost the signal.

It takes place in a future where Humans have launched into an exploration of the Solar System thoroughly and methodically. Using a hollowed out asteroid called the SOLAR EXPLORER (SOLAREX for short!) as a base, they will spend a year at each planet, probing, landing on, collecting samples, data, and answering questions without having to worry about shipping tiny amounts of material “home” to be analyzed by experts. The experts were right there.

But at one point, I thought EMERALD OF EARTH was boring and would have had a hard time finding advocacy among the more exciting titles (except THE GIVER; that was hardly self-explanatory, nor was THE HANDMAID’S TALE or even Butler’s 1979 masterpiece, KINDRED). Flashy titles had replaced subtle, so I had to do the same.

I came up with EARTH ATTACKED! Ugh. Then I tried LEGACY OF THE WOUNDED WORLDS…Worser and worser!

Finally, I resorted to something I’d never done: I sat down with a thesaurus and the “Legacy” title and found synonyms for all of the words and wrote them on slips of paper. Then I went to a table and began to rearrange them, speaking them out loud countless times until I found one title that held up under the stress of repetition.

HEIRS OF THE SHATTERED SPHERES. Instead of a single book, though, I suddenly had an idea for a SERIES.

Emerald’s story would be its own story, separate from eleven others but intertwined with them because they all live aboard the hollowed out asteroid SOLAR EXPLORER.

Emerald’s story would be the first of a much, much larger story. I wouldn’t have her defeating Inamma in one fell swoop. She needed to fight for her existence, so I made Inamma smarter than it had been before and more subtle.

Even more though, I needed Emerald to have “kid problems”. She needed to deal with issues every kid on Earth needed to deal with. So I gave her friend problems. She wanted them but couldn’t seem to keep them. But what began as a nebulous, “I can’t get friends”, needed a firmer foundation.

As a guidance counselor, I’d started working closely with several autistic students and had come to understand them just a tiny bit. The ones I dealt with were brilliant – but challenged by the world they lived in. I realized that my growing understanding of these young people might be an aspect of Emerald that I hadn’t really developed.

Once I started to understand Emerald, other things fell into place – things like answering the question: “What do teenagers DO on a spacecraft called SOLAREX, committed to a twelve year mission?” So I had to give them “school in space”. But NOT a clone of “school on Earth”, cloned from a form that came from England with American colonists in the 18th Century.

To tell you the truth, when it comes to school for teens in space, SF writers have TOTALLY lacked imagination!

Star Trek: The Next Generation and ST:DS9 have children and teens going to school and SITTING IN DESKS!!! They don’t even go to a holographic “virtual school” that is identical to what we had during the pandemic as in Michael’s Burstein’s award-winning short story, “Teleabsence”. Yet we’ve fled BACK to kids with butts in seats in schools…because we’ve got this weird idea that PARENTS are incapable of educating their kids and ONLY TRAINED TEACHER can do the job.

As a teacher for 41 years: during which time I taught science 6th grade general science, 7th grade life science, eighth grade Earth science, 9th grade physical science, 10th grade biology, 11th grade chemistry, and 12th grade physics, as well as designing and teaching TWO Astronomy classes – as well as writing classes for gifted and talented young people between 4th and 10th grade – I can tell you that THE BEST TEACHERS ARE PARENTS.

(I’m one of those, too…and a grandparent.)

For science fiction writers, you have Orson Scott Card training children to just “be soldiers” in ENDER’S GAME books. Why is that? I think the Science Fiction world has treated the future of education as if we’d already reached the PINNACLE of “educational technology” here in 21st Century America…I don’t even see SF attempting to include educational theory and practice from other cultures! A quick Google search reveals only that there are lots of articles on how to use SF to teach about science or inspire girls to be scientists. This list / is a good start, but hardly complete – at least I hope it’s not complete.

At any rate, to create an educational system that made sense, I drew from my own experience. One thing I knew for certain was that I didn’t want my teens – and there are 130+ of them on SOLAR EXPLORER – just “going to school” and then “hanging out”.

As important as that activity is, and knowing that I’m not speaking tongue-in-cheek – these young people are not only going to be in space for twelve years, they are going to mature into adults who will in their own time take their places in the operation of the ship. Some will be “promoted” to apprenticeships or leadership positions; some will become menial laborers. Some perhaps will become philosophers, others still recorders, writers, and artisans.

But how do they get there? NOT ONLY just “hanging out” on their cellphones and on social media all the time! That is PART of their education – social and educational media are adjuncts to formal education – but THEY have to be adjuncts of PARENTAL education efforts as well.

Honestly? This society has abdicated our wisdom by waving our kids in the general direction of “teachers”. THAT’S A BAD THING. I’m telling you here that not ONLY have I known absolutely shitty teachers; I’ve known EVIL teachers. You know what else? There are times in my life that I’ve been a shitty teacher myself.

Education in classical literature, mathematics, social studies (including history as well as the social experiment they live in!), physical education, science (duh!), art, and practical skills like programming, global languages, welding, recycling technologies, particle physics, gravitational manipulation technologies, and mass communication and journalism – how do you cover all of these things without sitting the fat butts of these kids down? And we need to start teaching our kids MANNERS – not sloppy adult manners, but a FOUNDATION of manners that EVERY SINGLE SOCIETY ON EARTH HAS.

In my novel, SOLAREX is a tiny, closed society. You might consider it a microscopic section of countries like “Andorra, Luxembourg, Greenland, Norway, Liechtenstein” where “literacy reaches virtually 100 percent.” Surveillance is practically universal (though I touch on the fact that it’s NOT!), so teens will only get into minimal trouble in the ways that they do. As well, there’s an “illicit” athletic outlet (pryzhok) as well as plenty of other things to do. Education is experiential as well as academic. They work on Intensive Training Teams as well as receive homework assignments in the “traditional subjects” we expect teens to study. They also receive tangible rewards as a result of inter-Team competition in both their vocational training and academics. And YES, “‘Vacation days, Leisure Study days and tours, credit chits to buy food at the alternate restaurants and hang outs, mostly.’”

Instructors design educational pathways for students – “He was willing to admit that he’d been a master query marker guide at one time. He’d figure out what someone needed to know then lead them there. After the suicides, he’d adjudged himself a stupid query marker guru, quit, and fled.”

I’m trying to explore ways that we might educate our young people. It SEEMS sometimes like it’s a lonely business, educating young minds. It SHOULD NOT BE. It needs to be EVERYONE’S job…

And it’s no longer seen that way. And from MY perspective, that is ALSO the main reason the Pandemic Distance Education hit our kids so hard…NOT ALL OF THEM THEM…but lots of them.

I put forward community effort on SOLAR EXPLORER as a model for us to return to – and then allow communities to ADAPT TO THEIR KIDS…

Comments anyone?

LINKS: https://pdxscholar.library.pdx.edu/eng_bookpubpaper/35/; http://sf.hackeducation.com; http://www.worldatlas.com/articles/the-highest-literacy-rates-in-the-world.html;
IMAGE: https://www.amazon.com/Emerald-Earth-Heirs-Shattered-Spheres/dp/1958333166/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.PMZul37u_A-yH1LfdxoJ_4iBsTIPAa-dcKcAYmv6WDJZJACtYOnZ8toIWHepGLzwDgcwPZa5ySaFTyXxDHB6x85EysrwG8c_Fs_6IxTzQ6L3naz7ZGJ4nJL1UMFwPAR6HPceUFI79nNdKI79TOzkCzNlUM0Fslu7enXSYjoi5shC0EWph5S5EukqRan_LFpafkgVdrt5AriNaxk4v6AWYTRuDaSk_91uYI1tD4ZiQ3s.RSgRAQeOVuHkoEpV9T_vci5uBYmbWChcdjg1uzqkqpw&qid=1713588732&sr=1-1

IDEA ON TUESDAY 650

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them. Regarding horror, I found this insight in line with WIRED FOR STORY: “ We seek out…stories which give us a place to put our fears…Stories that frighten us or unsettle us - not just horror stories, but ones that make us uncomfortable or that strike a chord somewhere deep inside - give us the means to explore the things that scare us…” – Lou Morgan (The Guardian)

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them.

H Trope: The Blank (one with no face…)
Current Event: http://patch.com/illinois/joliet/ex-con-charged-blowing-dogs-face-firework-surrenders-cops-0

Laurențiu Gabor pursed his lips and looked over at his partner, saying, “Can we believe them?”

“I don’t see why not,” said Tereza Dalca. “We know the guy blew the face off the dog.”

“Does it follow that there’s a faceless dog roaming the streets of Minneapolis though?” Laurentiu said.

“We can ask the victim and her dead daughter,” Tereza said, “but I’d really rather not call up that psychic again. He gave me the creeps.”

Laurentiu snorted, “He gave you the flu – on purpose.”

She shrugged. “We have to catch the thing before it kills again.”

“I’m open to ideas,” he said, tapping the computer screen to clear the file. “Animal Control hasn’t had any luck…”

“Luck is something you have your financial advisor buy on the Exchange. We’re a bureaucracy – we have to order our stuff after filling out the forms in quintuplicate.”

Laurentiu scowled. “We have to do something. What if the thing’s developed a taste for kids?”

Tereza gripped her lower lip between her pointer finger and thumb, rolling it thoughtfully. Finally she said, “There’s always your nephew.”

“He’s twenty-one now! Not like last time!”

“Yeah, but he looks like a kid. He’d be perfect. We know where the looney blew the dog’s face off. We know where the kid was attacked and killed. So we send your innocent looking…”

Laurentiu snorted, saying, “He’s about as innocent as any other twenty-one-year-old...”

“Exactly!”

Neither of them noticed the pit bull laying quietly on the ground under the dumpster. Neither one of them would have been able to detect the invisible leash or the invisible woman holding the leash unless they’d been looking closely to see the glamour’s shimmer. They would not have appreciated her wicked grin if they’d seen her. They also wouldn’t have appreciated the way she tugged on the faceless dog’s leash – especially because her own face was mostly missing as well…

Names: ♀ Romania; ♂ Romania

Image: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51niGRrH6DL.jpg

AT MY FAVORITE PLACE:

STUPEFYING STORIES!

The Week in Review • 10 November 2024 ~ Stupefying Stories Magazine

MINING THE ASTEROIDS Part 26: NEAR EARTH PASS Asteroids MIGHT TEMPT REALITY!

Initially, I started this series because of the 2021 World Science Fiction Convention, DisCON which I WOULD have been attending in person if I felt safe enough to do so in person AND it hadn’t been changed to the week before the Christmas Holidays…HOWEVER, as time passed, I knew that this was a subject I was going to explore because it interests me…

“Mining and returning platinum or gold from asteroids could make a person a trillionaire overnight, with the potential to flip our entire economy, trade, and market.”

While this sounds ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC, how realistic is it? Well, according to this article, “…2024 PT5 is part of Arjuna, an asteroid belt consisting of space rocks that follow orbits around the Sun very similar to that of Earth. ‘And for that reason, sometimes they remain briefly trapped in our gravitational field,’ Dr. Cappelluti said.”

Never heard of this asteroid belt? Neither had I: “Arjunas are a group of asteroids that have a nearly circular orbit around the Sun. They also have orbital period of a year. Essentially, they are the Earth’s closest neighbors, sharing the same space around the sun.”

While it seems likely that the Arjunas are asteroids captured by the sun from the general space debris following both creation and collisions in the ancient Solar System, there’s a possibility that they are made of “stuff” that’s similar to Earth in more ways than one. Also, as they follow the same orbit we do, intercepting them would SEEM to be a matter of Earth first “dropping” a cluster of probes and satellites, then setting them in a “station-keeping” orbit to wait until the Arjunas asteroid “catches up to them”, then initiate an orbital insertion and landing on the surface.

Let’s say that the probe discovers deposits of primarily iron, with a few possible traces of the precious metals: gold, silver, palladium, and platinum. A crew of miners were prepared ahead of time and launch. They begin work, seeking the asteroid with robotic micro-miners, swarms of diggers who sniff out the metals. Several months later, they lift from the surface of the asteroid and set a station-keeping orbit with holds laden with iron and other valuable ore.

In THIS scenario, all they’re carrying is metal ore, unprocessed. This would carry two advantages: first of course is that holds full of “rocks” aren’t nearly as tempting to hijackers who would have a long, hard processing road ahead of them instead of flying away with ingots of gold and girders of iron.

Secondly, the crew of the asteroid mining team are descendants of old-Earth-based miners. Skills gained by corporations and individuals and trainers over centuries of Earthly mining, would perhaps be more easily adaptable to space.

The mining and processing equipment itself might not have to be invented from scratch, either, but maybe adapted, set upon by micro-made “builders” who begin with the original Earth-made smelter, then adapted by an AI and retooled from the original into a similar one that might process Arjuna asteroid ores.

While this isn’t exactly “exciting” in a story sense, it’s MORE exciting in a “Hey, this could possibly happen!” sense. There are still chances for story to take place here – for example, what if the “micro-made builders” get out of control? What if their sheer MASS give them sapience? Will environmentalists protest of the “ruining the pristine nature of space, knuckling under the conglomerate mentality of ‘USE EVERYTHING FOR HUMANITY!”?

What if some of the miners hack the AI run mining equipment (or more interestingly, join forces!) to build clandestine colonies on the asteroid and hijack it for themselves?

These and more thoughts, and even thoughts leading to events unimaginable today, await as Humanity and AI leap from Earth and into space…

Today’s Source: https://www.sci.news/space/space-mining-13350.html; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arjuna_asteroid; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arjuna; https://www.news9live.com/science/arjuna-asteroid-2023-fy3-may-collide-with-earth-within-next-100-years-2408435;
Foundational Resource: (A general Wikipedia post detailing what the authors currently know about asteroid mining: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asteroid_mining)
Noted Resources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_asteroid_close_approaches_to_Earth, https://www.pharostribune.com/news/local_news/article_7fcd3ea5-3c14-533f-a8d5-9bf629922f34.html, https://www.fool.com/investing/2022/04/29/like-asteroid-mining-be-careful-what-you-wish-for/, https://www.nps.gov/wrbr/learn/historyculture/theroadtothefirstflight.htm, https://hackaday.com/2019/03/27/extraterrestrial-excavation-digging-holes-on-other-worlds/, https://www.planetary.org/space-missions/every-small-worlds-mission

Image: https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/A2D5/production/_114558614_hls-eva-apr2020.jpg

IDEAS ON TUESDAY 649

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them? Regarding Fantasy, this insight was startling: “I see the fantasy genre as an ever-shifting metaphor for life in this world, an innocuous medium that allows the author to examine difficult, even controversial, subjects with impunity. Honor, religion, politics, nobility, integrity, greed—we’ve an endless list of ideals to be dissected and explored. And maybe learned from.” – Melissa McPhail.

F Trope: good vs evil If you’ve never read THE DARK IS RISING sequence by Susan Cooper – you should! (https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Rising-Sequence/dp/0689829833)

Current Event: http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/12/politics/ukraine-russia-sanctions-us-eu/

This is just an idea day, so read the article above about the possibility of Vladimir Putin reassembling the old USSR out of its original annexed nations.

What if he was training a group of teens and then lost control of them to the demon Blud, who sows disorientation – chaos – wherever he goes… and a group of them met at an abandoned “reeducation camp” east of Moscow…to discover they were avatars of Perun, Morana, Triglav, and Belobog…and didn’t particularly WANT the Union to pull back together? What if they set out to stop Vladimir Putin, who, by all accounts is a devout Christian? What might happen in Russia then... (http://hollowverse.com/vladimir-putin/)...

Resources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Slavic_mythological_figures
Names: All Russian or Polish...

Image: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/98/71/e5/9871e52bbc09c525af21b8f6471eab15.jpg

POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAYS/SLICE OF PIE: The Movie AVENGERS Endgame, the End Times, the Rapture of the Church, and the Final Battle Between Good and Evil – Odd Parallels

On October 7, 2007, I started this blog. Seventeen years later, I am revising and doing some different things with my blog. My wife and I are now retired senior citizens, our kids are both married, we have a bonus daughter and her wife and we have three grandchildren, the oldest of which just became a teenager. I have forty-five professional publications, plus countless other publications as a slushpile reader, and sometime essay contributor to Stupefying Stories https://stupefyingstories.blogspot.com/ These days, I write whenever I want to – or when I’m not busy exploring the world with my wife or kids or grandkids. I write and read constantly. Then I discovered that I was writing longer and longer pieces. My new focus is to write shorter; and to write HUMOR. On purpose. Maybe I can still irritate people while being funny. It works pretty well for John Scalzi! We’ll see what happens.

By the way – I’ve been offline from the blog as well as some emails and Face Book because my computer all of a sudden stopped working a week ago. It just turned off and wouldn’t turn back on. After talking with my son, he made a few connections (he built his own computer from spare parts when he was 12 or 13; it’s been part of his job on the Army for the past 12 years, so he “sorta” knows what he’s doing around computers. Anyway, he had me try a few things, including a charger he’d ordered; and was set to come over yesterday to take it apart and start testing if certain components were fried…when the stupid thing just started working again. He said something in mysterious Computer Mumbo Jumbo which I didn’t understand at all except for a word that might have sounded like “bios” from the Lenovo corporation…and now I’m back online. So, here goes:

I'm almost positive to offend a certain kind of person who would read this...so be warned if you are either a Christian or an Avengers fan.

My wife and I finished watching AVENGERS: Endgame for about the fiftieth time, and for the twentieth time when I suddenly realized that there were startling parallels between AE (Avengers: Endgame) and ETE (End Times Eschatology).

First and foremost, is that Thanos (Greek, short for Athanasios, or “immortal”) causes half of all life IN THE UNIVERSE to vanish into a cloud of gray dust with a snap of his fingers after he gathers the Infinity Stones. Their divinity didn’t matter. Their power didn’t matter. They were gone.

In the Christian Church, there is a doctrine called “Escatology, the part of theology concerned with death, judgment, and the final destiny of the soul and of humankind.

‘Christian hope is concerned with eschatology, or the science of last things.” A BRANCH of eschatology is called Dispensational Futurism. “The futurist interpretation of the book of Revelation is one of four approaches to understanding the prophecies of Revelation…The basic premise of the futurist viewpoint is that the majority of the prophecies in Revelation still await a future, literal fulfillment. This view of interpreting Revelation is very popular today, particularly among dispensationalists. It is the method used by the authors of the bestselling Left Behind series. Those who hold this view generally believe that everything after Revelation 3 will be fulfilled in the future.” (https://www.gotquestions.org/futurist-Revelation.html)

Within DF, you’ll find the peculiar variety that attracted me as a kid who loved science fiction. Because the belief is that the Church will suffer a world-wide, all encompassing persectution during which Satan attempts to destroy all Christians. Its duration is divided into three arguments: Pre-Tribulation, during which the Church would be Raptured or “taken up”, and NOT suffer at all. This point of view is based on a single Bible verse: 1 Thessalonians 4:17. Other arguments are that the Church would be taken from Earth DURING the Tribulation (mid-Trib); where the Chuch will suffer for 3.5 years then be Raptured; or Post Trib, during which the Church will suffer for seven years, then the survivors be released without suffering death.

This is eeriely similar to what Thanos did to half of all life in the Universe. With a snap of his fingers, all suffering of those released was stopped – though if you were in the Quantum Universe, you’d apparently survive unscathed.

Before, during, or after a period of suffering, Christian Eschatology sees a huge war between the powers of Good and Evil. In AVENGERS: ENDGAME, the battle comes at the very end of the movie. The remaining, battered, broken, and hurting Avengers and their allies, stand before the numberless throngs of Thanos’ minions.

Then the Lost return, albeit through Magical Portals, including all of the vanished of Earth’s Greatest Heroes – including Spiderman, Black Panther, Doctor Strange, and others, equally dear and valued. These heroes engage the armies of Thanos (which also include a High Priest as well as various other generals and monsters).

When the head Archangel Michael…er…Captain Marvel, returns with her God-like powers from protecting the Rest of the Universe, she arrives with Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, as well as Salathiel, Jegudiel, Barachiel, and Jeremiel, to effortlessly slaughter the minions of Thanos/Satan. Together, they not only VANQUISH the forces of Thanos/Satan, but Tony Stark/Iron Man, snaps his fingers to destroy Thanos and his army. He has given his life for the lives of the rest of the UNIVERSE and dies from the irreversible damage the Infinity Stones cause to his body.

Please don’t get me wrong – I LOVE the movies in the Marvel Universe (like everyone I have my favorites!), but Infinity War and Endgame are by far and a long shot my favorites – partly because I can see my own beliefs in the end times in the stories. The movies NEVER fail to bring me to tears when the wreath remembering Tony Stark/Iron Man is pushed out into the pond at the farm he and Pepper Pott had retreated to parent their little girl.

But where some may be thinking that it’s great story telling and a fine ending to a great story line, I AM SEEING the end of the universe as we know it and the defeat of NOT just a guy with an ugly face who claims, “I am inevitable!”, by a guy in a rocket-powered, self important, sometime jerk…

I am seeing the defeat of the one who claimed he was master of the universe, the one who tricked the universe away from Humanity (and however many OTHER sapient peoples Satan tricked); and, who was saved from destruction by the true Son of God, who like Tony Stark, gave his life to redeem the universe from evil, but lived a life a bit more...HOLY than Tony ever thought of doing.

Inspiration: Re-watch of AVENGERS: Endgame

Image: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.polygon.com%2F2018%2F6%2F29%2F17380862%2Favengers-4-title-release-date-trailer&psig=AOvVaw3rKMuxcjdlN_5sgx6g7unS&ust=1730785555189000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBQQjRxqFwoTCMCV3eT8wYkDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE