I may have mentioned that one of my goals is to
increase my writing output, increase my publication rate, and increase the
relevance of my writing. In my WRITING ADVICE column, I had started using an
article my sister sent me by Lisa Cron. She has
worked as a literary agent, TV producer, and story consultant for Warner Brothers,
the William Morris Agency, and others. She is a frequent speaker at writers’ conferences,
and a story coach for writers, educators, and journalists. I am going to fuse
the advice from her book WIRED FOR STORY with my recent trip to South Korea. Why? I made a discovery there. You’ll hear
more about it in the future as I work to integrate what I’m learning from the
book, the startling things I found in South Korea, and try and alter how I write
in order to create characters that people will care about, characters that will
speak the Truth, and characters that will clearly illustrate what I’m writing
about.
“Remember when Luke has to drop the bomb into
the small vent on the Death Star? The story writer faces a similar challenge of
penetrating the brain of the reader. This book gives the blueprints.” – David
Eagleman
“The reader expects that the plot will
force the protagonist to confront and overcome her misbelief, something she’s
probably spent her whole life avoiding.
“As readers we cue into the protagonist’s
misbelief surprisingly early, and expect the plot to continually challenge it.
And, because misbeliefs are deeply ingrained early in life, we know that the
protagonist isn’t going to give it up without a fight. Especially since to her
it isn’t a misbelief at all, but a savvy piece of inside intel she’s lucky to
have learned early in life.”
I’m trying to write a piece of flash science fiction. I have 1200 words
to tell an entire story aimed at young adults – and in the case of SF, that
includes BUILDING THE WORLD THAT THE STORY TAKES PLACE IN!
Oh, and having the protagonist and antagonist being best friends. And their
parents are dating and that dating may or may not have political overtones, or even
be entirely politically motivated.
Twelve hundred words.
The original story went something like this: The guys are on their way
to the last few days of “school” (which is ALSO different in this, the 25th
Century, “On a well-settled Mars, the five major city Council regimes
struggle to meld into a stable, working government. Embracing an official
Unified Faith In Humanity, the Councils are teetering on the verge of pogrom
directed against Christians, Molesters , Jews, Rapists, Buddhists, Murderers,
Muslims, Thieves, Hindu, Embezzlers and Artificial Humans – anyone who
threatens the official Faith and the consolidating power of the Councils.” (https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/search/label/SCIENCE%20FICTION%20-%20Martian%20Holiday))
So – our hero and
anti-hero are getting ready for being drafted into their chosen profession as
apprentices. They’re also getting ready to “vanish” into the depths of
Burroughs Dome to celebrate their newly-conferred adulthood. For Kalbin and Waqas
though, things are turning sour. Waqas hates Artificial Humans; Kalbin may be a
partial AH, which is HIGHLY illegal not to mention unethical and unprecedented
as well. Kalbin’s dad (Mom disappeared shortly after his birth) is the Circulation
Director for the online tabloid, “UNDER THE DOME, All the News That’s Fit To Whisper!”
Waqas’ mom is running for her third term as the minority Liberal party candidate
on Burroughs Dome Council (they have a Strong Mayor, Weak Council structure)
and has been pushing for extending civil rights for Artificial Humans (and for
the rest of them as well, but that’s not important at this time in Martian
history.)
Waqas hates it
because “indigoes”, sewerslang for Artificial Humans, are more important
to his mom than HE is. (Which is, I might point out, a misbelief of a minor
character.)
A lot. He’s a beefed
up version of his dad, who owns and operates an ice rig on the bottom of the
Northern Dune Sea. Dad is OK with Artificials – as long as they know their
place...and stay there.
Kalbin, who was
diagnosed with methemoglobinemia (“It’s under control! I just look more blue at
some times than at, uh, others…”) as a child. Common practice is to wait until
puberty has run its course to do full retrogene replacement. That’s what was
going to happen after Kalbin announces his draft choice.
Waqas doesn’t have
a choice. As much as he wanted to be an entrepreneur, his dad overruled his
choice and he’ll start as an apprentice on the Northern Dune Sea with the rest
of his sisters and brother. He’s…um…slightly ticked off about it and as he can’t
take it out on his family, he’s taking out his frustration on Kalbin. Who has
issues of his own.
See, he suspects he’s
not entirely Human. In fact, he suspects that not only is his dad NOT the
Circulation Director, but is the author of the infamous “Not-Quite-Blue-Boy” recurring
series in the tabloid UNDER THE DOME.
For whom he is the
model…and IS he Human at all? If he’s partially Artificial, then what is he?
Was he created as a political statement? Is that why Waqas’ mom is dating Kalbin’s
dad – to make some sort of political score? Has his dad EVER really cared about
him as a person, a son, or has his whole life been a fake? He’s wondered this
for a long time. It’s not only a misbelief, it drives how he sees himself and
how he’s reacting to the world around him.
At the beginning of
the ORIGINAL story, none of this was clear. Now it is. In the end, Kalbin confronts his father, and not getting any satisfaction, he runs off into the
Underground.
That is a
MANIFESTLY wimpy story.
The
first two lines were awful as well…
“Face2FaceSchool
was a drag even when Kalbin’s dad was a kid.
“‘We got five weeks, then finally, the Draft!’
Qusay said.”
That is such a wimpy beginning, I’m embarrassed. It’s as if the writer
of my most recently accepted story gave writing the opening line to the thirteen-year-old
Guy Stewart instead of to the more experienced writer who recently wrote: “Larry
Henry was muttering in the Orion Lunar lander mockup when Mission Control
interrupted their regularly scheduled disaster.”
That line was so well-turned it surprised me. And I wrote it.
To the current blog point, though: “The
reader expects that the plot will force the protagonist to confront and
overcome her misbelief, something she’s probably spent her whole life avoiding.”
This is what the readers will expect in “Not
Quite Blue Boy”; it’s something that’s not quite there yet. On the other hand,
it’s something that after ruminating on what I was trying to accomplish and (in
this case, having to write out the story here, ruminating on how it intersects
with Cron’s reader expectations and her other 52 Mass Points. If it’s a
formula, thus far it’s been extremely successful – “Road Veterinarian” and “Kamsahamnida,
America” were both written under the influence of WIRED FOR STORY; both sold to
a top market.
This one, finally, will also be written “under-the-influence”.
I’ll keep you posted on it!
(While it's NOT part of the Korean Solar Expansion, all of the stories will now be influenced by my experience in South Korea.)
Maps and Photos: http://www.faculty.virginia.edu/rwoclass/astr121/marsImages.html
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