February 15, 2025

CREATING ALIEN ALIENS Part 40: Why Do We Think “The Worst Aliens” Are…Unbelievable?

Five decades ago, I started my college career with the intent of becoming a marine biologist. I found out I had to get a BS in biology before I could even begin work on MARINE biology; especially because there WEREN'T any marine biology programs in Minnesota.

Along the way, the science fiction stories I'd been writing since I was 13 began to grow more believable. With my BS in biology and a fascination with genetics, I started to use more science in my fiction.

After reading hard SF for the past 50 years, and writing hard SF successfully for the past 20, I've started to dig deeper into what it takes to create realistic alien life forms. In the following series, I'll be sharing some of what I've learned. I've had some of those stories published, some not...I teach a class to GT young people every summer called ALIEN WORLDS. I've learned a lot preparing for that class for the past 25 years...so...I have the opportunity to share with you what I've learned thus far. Take what you can use, leave the rest. Let me know what YOU'VE learned. Without further ado...

I am a brutal critic of aliens in ANY TV series, movie, book, or any other media format. Part of the reason is that my undergraduate degree is in biology and my graduate degree is in psychology/school counseling. My life experience is in teaching 4th-12th graders, mostly in science…

I expect my aliens to MAKE SENSE. I don’t really care if they’re “scary” or “monstrous” or disgusting. They NEED to make sense to me.

Take for example, as much as the “Alien” xenomorphs scared the living crap out of a friend of mine and I, the possibility of something like them walking around, being insectoid, and under 1g, Earth normal gravity? (“How can you tell that???? They could have evolved under a different gravitational field that we did!” While all that wailing is true, the fact is that from the first movie, the xenomorphs interact with Humans UNDER EARTH-NORMAL GRAVITY!

“How do you know it’s Earth normal?” Mostly because none of them appear to have either technological nor biological adaptations to work or live under any level of g higher or lower than Earth normal. Ergo, to me, while they startled me and give me the heebie-jeebies, they don’t work biologically.

There’ve been all sorts of alien invasion movies, too with aliens who make no sense at all. The original 1953 version of HG Wells classic novel, WAR OF THE WORLDS made no sense, either. The screenplay writing tried, I’ll give them that! But the aliens really WOULDN’T be able to walk around under Earth’s gravity. Plus, the possibility of them catching a cold from us or US catching some sort of plague (UNLESS it was specifically designed from one or another of the Diseases of Humanity for a very specific purpose. As we all saw with H1N1, even COVID19, while killing a vast swath of Humanity, couldn’t take out ALL of us. (Current totals for world-wide death due to COVID 19, from 28 days through January 25, 2025 = https://data.who.int/dashboards/covid19/deaths?m49=001
My question then is this: “What qualifies anyone to judge that an alien is ridiculous?”

We have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING on which to base such a statement. We have had no VERIFIABLE experience with extraterrestrial life of ANY sort. We have NO data regarding life existing ANYWHERE but on Earth – oh, we have VERY imaginative people coming up with VERY imaginative guesses. We have POWERFUL arguments against anyone, anywhere DENYING that our VERY AND TOTALLY IMAGINATIVE GUESSES are ridiculous. We will fight to the DEATH insisting that everyone else’s guesses are stupider than our.

If a five-year-old decides that there are candy-cane aliens out there somewhere, upon WHAT AUTHORITY does anyone on Earth base their categorical rejection of such an alien? “Science”? I was a biology major who graduated in 1981. I KNEW the categories of life and if you were to tell me that there was “an exotic new disease” that appeared in May of 1981 that was variously refered to as lymphadenopathy, KSOI, GRID, the 4H disease and would be resistant to virtually every antibiotic, and any other way of treating it, I’d have agreed. My IMMUNOLOGY textbook had nothing in it about Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome…because it was a mystery. It was an unidentifiable, undefeatable form of life – of course, viruses aren’t technically alive, but they didn’t know WHAT it was at that time (and before you decide to unleash judgmental anger at me, my brother-in-law died from complications caused by AIDS.)

Our attempts to replicate alien BEHAVIOR are actually more than pathetic! Kira Nerys and Dr. Bashir? Worf and Jadzia Dax????? REALLY? Not even a snowball's chance of being even CLOSE to making any kind of sense at ALL!

What DO we know about the possibility of life on other worlds? What CAN we say is categorically “impossible”? Heavier-than-air flight was impossible. So was landing on the Moon. Treating AIDS was once impossible. Microorganisms living in boiling water were CERTAINLY impossible! So was life in ice! ABSOLUTELY life in lava was impossible…

Yet, all of them are now known to be fact.

Maybe the best we can say at this point is, “Well, it doesn’t seem likely – I certainly can’t imagine it – but who knows? Somewhere in the universe…”

I DO know people who would accuse anyone who subscribes to the “somewhere in the uiverse” response as downright absurd, a copout, naïve, and just plain stupid.

Then again, “Zoologist George Shaw was the first westerner to describe a platypus, the pelt and bill of which he was sent in 1799 from Australia. Shaw tried to understand the platypus but, like many of those who studied the strange creature after him, couldn’t shake the feeling he was being tricked.” 

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