SF Trope: The
Good Guys travel through time to stop a historical Bad Guy, usually Hitler
Current Event: “The
Academy of Fine Arts Vienna rejected [Hitler] twice, in 1907 and 1908, because
of his ‘unfitness for painting’.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler)
Johannes Klingle
and Shoshanna Barbivai glared at each other across the room. She said, “Why do
I have to go with him?”
The technician
looked at both of them, then shrugged, “I just run the time machine. I don’t
make policy.” He tweaked a control, then turned away to make adjustments to a
touchscreen on the wall behind the console.
Johannes said,
“Feeling’s mutual, lady.”
She snorted and
said, “I’m surprised you’d even talk to me.”
Johannes – Joe –
shook his head, “I’m a American Democrat. We’re trained to be inclusivist to
the exclusion of all else.”
He cut in,
“...walked into a bar…”
She cut him
back, “I don’t drink, so the rest of the story would go, ‘and she watched as
the stupid American teenager got sloshed and pissed away the opportunity to do
whatever it was he was supposed to be doing.”
“I’m not a
teenager.”
“Yeah? Well I
read your dossier, too. You’re here as a last resort to save the military career
of ‘Daddy’s little girl’ – oh, and I wouldn’t toss around the part about
Americans getting sloshed. From what I read, apparently you didn’t need a bar
to get wasted...”
They were
standing face-t0-face when someone in a white lab coat walked into the room, took
one look at them, pointed a wand and depressed a button.
Both Johannes
and Shoshanna gasped and fell to the ground, writhing in pain. The woman in the
lab coat released the button and said, “You’re a matched pair of fools. That’s
why you’re here. This is the first in a series of time travel experiments and
you’re both under arrest by the governments that shipped you here. Johannes –
you’re here because not only did you do a DUI, you ran over a Republican
Senator’s daughter. She’s still in ICU and the murder charges are pending.
Shoshanna, your father said this will be the last time you embarrass him if you
fail. I have in my possession papers that will remove you to,” she glanced down
at a tablet computer she held in one hand, “Ravensbrück – if you don’t ‘get
your act together’. You also both have a pain enhancing device clamped on to
your brain stem. You’ve seen a demonstration of what it can do. While it may
not work in the past, no one is entirely sure of that. So we’ll have to see.”
She smiled a Reaper’s smile at both and said, “Your mission is to convince the
Director of the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna to admit Adolf. The Director’s
name is Gustav Wessely. You’ll be brother and sister visiting your
great-grandfather on his deathbed. Adolf is your mother’s sister’s
brother-in-law’s son. He’s been in trouble, but he’s a good kid. A little lazy,
but he had problems with father.”
He nodded and
said, “That is exactly what you are going to do. And Joe there on the floor is
going to help you.”
“How’s that?”
“The future
possible Führer of all of
Germany is deathly afraid of beautiful women. He’d never talk to you. But he
loves drinking – especially when other people are paying. Between the two of
you, you’re not only going to give him watercolor lessons,” he said looking at Shoshanna.
“You,” he pointed at Joe on the floor, “Get up. You look like a fool. You’re
going to get him drunk and them teach him how to talk to women.”
“Him?” Shoshanna
exclaimed.
“Yep. The
dynamic duo.”
“Who the hell do
you think you are?” Johannes shouted.
The man in the
lab coat smiled and said, “My name is Frank Adolph Hitler.”
“Who the hell
would name their kid that?” said Shoshanna.
“Famous artists
often name their children after themselves. Often times the next generation
passes the name of an important ancestor on as well.” He bowed, sweeping on
hand dramatically backward then stood up, adding, “I am one such descendant of
one such ancestor – in a very, very different timeline than the one you two
came from.”
Names: ♀ (Modern) Israeli ; ♂ German/Austrian
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