ANALOG Tag Line:
When a practice emergency becomes a REAL emergency, two girls must figure out how to work together to save their lives.
Elevator Pitch (What Did I Think I Was Trying To Say?)
Two thirteen-year-old girls are ready to take the test that will allow them to work under supervision outside of Space Station COURAGE. Can they overcome their dislike of each other to save their lives?
Opening Line:
Her stomach floated outside the airlock of SPACE STATION COURAGE.
Onward:
It was still inside her body. Candace Mooney had read what to expect in microgravity. She refused to get space sick in front of the other thirteen-year-old floating across from her. She said, “We need to calculate the orbital insertion trajectory so we can…”
“That’s like trying to program a computer before you turn it on,” said Mayra Mendez-Ybarra. “We need to build the satellite before we calculate anything.” She turned around slowly with a jet from her finger. Parts of a satellite floated near her, tied with elastic bands.
What Was I Trying To Say?
Honestly? I was trying to break into a market that has been closed to me since I made a stink about getting paid. The magazine is high in its field and has a pay-on-publication policy. Many writers are as happy as I was to accept that because getting published in it carries a great deal of weight. They had a brief period of financial crisis, and I after my story was published, I sent emails several times asking for payment. Then I did an end run around the current editor to the editor that that had published me. She must have said SOMETHING, because I was paid very shortly thereafter. BUT, I have not sold anything to them since then…
Or, the story was total crap.
The Rest of the Story:
The girls work together to get back into the space station safely, doing a bit of engineering and taking advantage of one them having an eidetic memory…um…conveniently…
End Analysis:
Possibly a bit too much coincidence in this story – it’s less about them figuring things out, like in “Mystery on Space Station COURAGE” than it is about remembering stuff at the perfect moment…
I thought I learned a long time ago that in kid’s stories, it has to be about the kid’s actions. Coincidence in a short short (actually it’s flash fiction, technically) is OK, but only sort of off stage. This was too blatant and really not about them working together – not at its core.
Can This Story Be Saved?
Absolutely, I might even submit the story under my daughter’s name just to see what happens, though I’d have to create a new Submittable account and I don’t know if it would be worth the effort…but maybe!
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